The line chart illustrates the number of people taking part in various activities at a certain social centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The line chart illustrates the number of people taking part in various activities at a certain social centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is seen that the majority of Australians preferred a film

club

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

the minority of them were interested in musical performances.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

club

Use synonyms

had gained more popularity amongst

people

Use synonyms

by the end of the period,

whereas

Linking Words

the

amateur

Use synonyms

dramatic one became the least popular by

this

Linking Words

time. Focusing on the leading clubs, in 2000 approximately 65 participants

were visiting

Wrong verb form

visited

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

film

club

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

for marital arts the corresponding figure was almost 30

people

Use synonyms

lower. By 2010, the number of film lovers slightly dropped to 60.

In contrast

Linking Words

, 5 more

people

Use synonyms

started participating in marital arts compared to the previous period by

this

Linking Words

time. When it comes to 2020, the

proportions

Fix the agreement mistake

proportion

show examples

of Australians visiting the centre in Melbourne reached the initial levels for both activities. With regard to the remaining clubs, in 2000

amateur

Use synonyms

dramatics and table tennis consisted of nearly 25 and 15 members, respectively. Notably, musical performances became popular only after 2005, and by 2010

this

Linking Words

activity had slightly more than 10 fans,

while

Linking Words

amateur

Use synonyms

performances and table tennis were more visited

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

year, with 20 performers. It is noticeable, that by 2020 the number of

people

Use synonyms

who attended table tennis increased almost

Change preposition

apply

show examples

four times compared to the previous period. Meanwhile,

amateur

Use synonyms

dramatics underwent a significant drop in attendance, at the level of approximately 5

people

Use synonyms

visiting

this

Linking Words

club

Use synonyms

in 2020. Regarding musical performers, by 2020 their number went up by half.

halynasmyk953

Sep 28, 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words club, people, amateur with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

237 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

illustrates
number of people
taking part
various activities
social centre
between 2000 and 2020
overall trends
participation rate
increase
decrease
significant
popularity
comparative analysis
social or cultural shifts
introduction of new facilities
wider promotion

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The line chart illustrates the number of people taking part in various activities at a certain social centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What coulbe be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

These days many parents want their children to study a second language such as English. Do you think it is important for younger children to study a new language? Do you think schools should teach every student in primary school a second language?

Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.