Technology has created new types of hobbies. Nowadays, many children spend much time playing computer games or mobile games. What problems are associated with this? What are some possible solutions?

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Technology advancement has brought various new hobbies particularly related to computer and mobile arcades.
This
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situation has caused many
children
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to spend a considerable amount of
time
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on their screens to finish their
games
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, leading to a sedentary lifestyle and addiction.
This
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essay will look at those problems and the possible solutions to them. One of the noticeable problems is that
children
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have a sedentary lifestyle
that is
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inevitably harmful
for
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to
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their health.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
is because the
children
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spend most of their
time
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sitting
while
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playing video
games
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on their gadgets. As the
children
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do not move a lot, they gain extra weight
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is the main cause of obesity for
children
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.
Besides
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,
children
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are addicted to their
games
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.
This
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addiction is scientifically proven to be detrimental
for
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to
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their brain development particularly parts of the brain which regulate their emotional intelligence and metabolic response. To tackle the above issues, parents need to limit their
children
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's
time
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spent
on
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apply
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playing
games
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on the screens. The parents can control their
children
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by creating a strict schedule that allocates limited
time
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for them to use their
gadget
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gadgets
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.
For instance
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,
children
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are only allowed to use their computer or mobile phone at home for one or two hours. If they do not obey the rules, they must be given certain punishments
such
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as doing
house’s
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house
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chores.
Additionally
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, the way forward could be for parents to create an interesting activity for the
children
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that involves hands-on experience so they can be active and
hence
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improving
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improve
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their health.
This
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can be done by encouraging and pushing their
children
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to follow outside class activities
such
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as dancing class. By following dancing lessons the
children
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can move a lot and be creative with their moves. Not only that, they
also
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will socialize and make friends with their peers. In summary,
children
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spending more
time
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on computers has caused issues including
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
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lifestyle and addiction that damage their brain. To tackle the problems
children
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can limit their
children
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's computer usage and encourage their
children
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to be active by following dancing class.
Submitted by raymond.sebastianvl on

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coherence cohesion
While the essay provides logical structuring, improve the flow between paragraphs. Use topic sentences more effectively to introduce each paragraph's main idea.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on examples and connect them clearly to the main points being discussed. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the argument effectively.
task achievement
The problems and solutions are addressed comprehensively, indicating a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as limiting screen time and enrolling in dancing classes, are relevant and well-chosen to illustrate the points discussed.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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