Technology has created new types of hobbies. Nowadays, many children spend much time playing computer games or mobile games. What problems are associated with this? What are some possible solutions?
Technology advancement has brought various new hobbies particularly related to computer and mobile arcades.
This
situation has caused many children
to spend a considerable amount of time
on their screens to finish their games
, leading to a sedentary lifestyle and addiction. This
essay will look at those problems and the possible solutions to them.
One of the noticeable problems is that children
have a sedentary lifestyle that is
inevitably harmful for
their health. Change the preposition
to
It
is because the Correct pronoun usage
This
children
spend most of their time
sitting while
playing video games
on their gadgets. As the children
do not move a lot, they gain extra weight that
is the main cause of obesity for Correct pronoun usage
which
children
. Besides
, children
are addicted to their games
. This
addiction is scientifically proven to be detrimental for
their brain development particularly parts of the brain which regulate their emotional intelligence and metabolic response.
To tackle the above issues, parents need to limit their Change preposition
to
children
's time
spent on
playing Change preposition
apply
games
on the screens. The parents can control their children
by creating a strict schedule that allocates limited time
for them to use their gadget
. Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
For instance
, children
are only allowed to use their computer or mobile phone at home for one or two hours. If they do not obey the rules, they must be given certain punishments such
as doing house’s
chores. Change noun form
house
Additionally
, the way forward could be for parents to create an interesting activity for the children
that involves hands-on experience so they can be active and hence
improving
their health. Wrong verb form
improve
This
can be done by encouraging and pushing their children
to follow outside class activities such
as dancing class. By following dancing lessons the children
can move a lot and be creative with their moves. Not only that, they also
will socialize and make friends with their peers.
In summary, children
spending more time
on computers has caused issues including sedentary
lifestyle and addiction that damage their brain. To tackle the problems Correct article usage
a sedentary
children
can limit their children
's computer usage and encourage their children
to be active by following dancing class.Submitted by raymond.sebastianvl on
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coherence cohesion
While the essay provides logical structuring, improve the flow between paragraphs. Use topic sentences more effectively to introduce each paragraph's main idea.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on examples and connect them clearly to the main points being discussed. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the argument effectively.
task achievement
The problems and solutions are addressed comprehensively, indicating a good understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as limiting screen time and enrolling in dancing classes, are relevant and well-chosen to illustrate the points discussed.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...
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