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The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#bar #line #temperatures #suit #sales #york #first #months #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar
chart
 delineates the revenue of swimwear in hundred
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
USD
 across the first six months of 2012, and the line graph depicts the mean recurrent temperature from January to
June
 of 2012.
Overall
, a significantly integral note that has emerged from these
datas
Correct your spelling
data
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the
profitted
Correct your spelling
profited
sales
 peaked at approximately 285
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
USD
 in April,
additionally
, the average
temperatue
Correct your spelling
temperature
 pinnacled in
June
, recording a high of 65
fahrenheit
Change the capitalization
Fahrenheit
show examples
. Right off the bat, it can be witnessed from the line
chart
 that a
neglible
Correct your spelling
negligible
 decrease
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 from January to
February
 from just above 30
fahrenheit
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Fahrenheit
show examples
 to accurately 30
fahrenheit
Change the capitalization
Fahrenheit
show examples
 in
February
.
Then
 a substantial and concurrent increase occurred throughout the months of
February
 to May, charting a high of 60F doubling the initial low
temperatre
Correct your spelling
temperature
 of
February
.
Finally
, it escalated shortly to 65F in
June
 marking its territory of being the hottest month between the six. Other than that, the bar
chart
 is observed to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
100 thousand
USD
 in revenue in January. Followed by, a slight rise in
February
 by 25 thousand
USD
 (accumulating to 125,000 US Dollars).
Moreover
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 150k
USD
sales
 have been recorded in March after another insignificant growth in
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
.
Additionally
, the revenue
chart
 peaked at 300 thousand
USD
 in
sales
 in April, continued by a dramatic decline in May with a 90% decrease in
sales
.
Finally
, the
last
 observational month of
June
 witnessed another drop in
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
, finishing off the analysis with a low of 10k
USD
 in
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 generation.
Submitted by lishaanatalie on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, finally".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, usd, june, sales, february with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • bathing suit sales
  • correlation
  • monthly breakdown
  • significant changes
  • warmest months
  • speculate
  • trends
  • increase in temperature
  • contrasting
  • predictive speculation
  • general trends
  • specific months
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