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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #line #temperatures #suit #sales #york #first #months #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar
chart
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 delineates the revenue of swimwear in hundred
thousands
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thousand
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USD
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 across the first six months of 2012, and the line graph depicts the mean recurrent temperature from January to
June
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 of 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, a significantly integral note that has emerged from these
datas
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data
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the
profitted
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profited
sales
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 peaked at approximately 285
thousands
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thousand
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USD
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 in April,
additionally
Linking Words
, the average
temperatue
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temperature
 pinnacled in
June
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, recording a high of 65
fahrenheit
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Fahrenheit
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. Right off the bat, it can be witnessed from the line
chart
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 that a
neglible
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negligible
 decrease
occured
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occurred
 from January to
February
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 from just above 30
fahrenheit
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Fahrenheit
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 to accurately 30
fahrenheit
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Fahrenheit
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 in
February
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.
Then
Linking Words
 a substantial and concurrent increase occurred throughout the months of
February
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 to May, charting a high of 60F doubling the initial low
temperatre
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temperature
 of
February
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, it escalated shortly to 65F in
June
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 marking its territory of being the hottest month between the six. Other than that, the bar
chart
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 is observed to have
a
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apply
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100 thousand
USD
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 in revenue in January. Followed by, a slight rise in
February
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 by 25 thousand
USD
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 (accumulating to 125,000 US Dollars).
Moreover
Linking Words
,
a
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apply
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 150k
USD
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sales
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 have been recorded in March after another insignificant growth in
sale
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sales
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the revenue
chart
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 peaked at 300 thousand
USD
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 in
sales
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 in April, continued by a dramatic decline in May with a 90% decrease in
sales
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 observational month of
June
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 witnessed another drop in
sale
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sales
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, finishing off the analysis with a low of 10k
USD
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 in
sale
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sales
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 generation.
Submitted by lishaanatalie on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, finally".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, usd, june, sales, february with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly temperatures
  • bathing suit sales
  • correlation
  • monthly breakdown
  • significant changes
  • warmest months
  • speculate
  • trends
  • increase in temperature
  • contrasting
  • predictive speculation
  • general trends
  • specific months
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