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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows employment patterns for males and females in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows employment patterns for males and females in New Zealand in 1993 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The supplied table indicates employment
various
Change preposition
of various
show examples
 parts for men and women in New
Zealand
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 over a ten-year period. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest
percentage
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 of employment patterns is for difficulties in finding skilled
workers
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 in New
Zealand
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.
However
Linking Words
, employees who were technical and managerial did not have many problems
to find
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finding
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 a job over the period. In 2004, the
percentage
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 of issues for finding skilled
workers
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 for manufacturing was just over
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half (51%), (which was the highest number of problems over the whole year) just ahead of building and services at 45% in New
Zealand
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 in 2004.
Moreover
Linking Words
, roughly a third of difficulties in finding unskilled
workers
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 was for manufacturing (28%), compared to 2003 which accounted for 26% in New
Zealand
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of difficulties in finding technical and managerial
workers
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 for commerce in New
Zealand
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 in 2004 was a bit as few as
2003
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in 2003
show examples
 at 0% and 2%, respectively. (Which were the lowest
percentage
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 of problems over the whole year).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words zealand, percentage, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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