The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)
The two
pie
charts demonstrate the online shopping sales for retail sectors
in Canada between 2005 and 2010. According to
the pie
charts, the percentage
of each retail Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
sectors
are pretty close to each other Fix the agreement mistake
sector
especially
in 2005. Add the comma(s)
, especially
As the
Correct word choice
The
pie
chart shows the highest percentage
of retail sectors
in 2005, which is electronics & appliances that have 35 percent
and the lowest Change the spelling
per cent
percentage
of retail sectors
in 2005, which is video games that
Correct pronoun usage
which
has
18 Verb problem
is
percent
. As Change the spelling
per cent
it refers
to the graph, the Wrong verb form
referred
percentage
of the highest and the lowest Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
have
only 17 Verb problem
are
percent
apart, which can be Change the spelling
per cent
cleanly
seen that the Replace the word
clearly
percentage
of each retail Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
sectors
are pretty close to each other and Fix the agreement mistake
sector
doesn’t
make much of a difference.
Correct subject-verb agreement
don’t
According to
the pie
charts, in 2005 the percentage
of 30 percent
of electronics & appliances is the highest Change the spelling
per cent
percentage
of retail sectors
among the other but suddenly has a 5 percent
drop in 2010. Change the spelling
per cent
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
Wrong verb form
resulted
result
the Add the preposition
result in
result from
percentage
of electronics & appliances to be
second to the highest in 2010 and leading the way to the highest is now food & beverage with 32 Change the verb form
being
percent
. Change the spelling
per cent
On the other hand
, the percentage
of home furnishing in 2005 that has
25 Verb problem
was
percent
, which results to be
second to the highest in 2005. Change preposition
in being
However
, in 2010 the percentage
of home furnishing has
decreased a lot and resulted Unnecessary verb
apply
to be
the lowest Verb problem
in
percentage
in 2010 with 10
Correct article usage
a 10
percent
drop and resulted with only 15 percent
in 2010. This
can be seen that the needs of these retail sectors
are lower compared to the percentage
in 2005.
Overall
, the percentage
of each retail sectors
in 2005 Fix the agreement mistake
sector
has
decreased in 2010 except for the Unnecessary verb
apply
percentage
of video games and food & beverage, which has
increased from 22 Unnecessary verb
apply
percent
in 2005 to 32 Change the spelling
per cent
percent
and resulted to be the highest in 2010 followed by video games that has increased from 18 Change the spelling
per cent
percent
to 23 Change the spelling
per cent
percent
in 2010. Change the spelling
per cent
This
can be seen that the needs of these retail sectors
are higher compared to the percentage
in 2005.Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, sectors, percentage, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 15 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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