IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given chart illustrates how many UK students, both male and female, were in
further
 education in three different periods of time ten years apart from each other.
In addition
, it shows the difference between how many of them were studying full-time or part-time.
Firstly
, regarding full-time studying, the number of students rose both in men and women. In fact, the number of men had an
overall
 upward trend, starting at roughly 100
thousand
 at the beginning, and finishing at more than 200
thousand
.
On the other hand
, women
initially
 had a sharp rise from less than 100
thousand
 to roughly 200
thousand
 between the first two stages, afterwards they had only a slight increase in 1990/91.
Secondly
, regarding part-time studying the situation is completely different.
Overall
, among females, there has been a moderate rise between 1970/71 and 1980/81 but afterwards, a peak of almost a million and 100
thousand
 has been reached!
In contrast
, males had a fluctuant trend, starting at 1 million, they dropped significantly to less than 900
thousand
.
Lastly
, there has been a moderate rise.
Submitted by alessandro.talese on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moderate" was used 2 times.
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