The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart illustrates the earned money of one country's

export

Fix the agreement mistake

exports

show examples

in five different categories from 2015 to 2016. The table represents the

porportion

Correct your spelling

proportion

Correct your spelling

show examples

value change between 2015 to 2016.

Overall

, the highest

changed

Replace the word

change

show examples

and earned export was

textiles

but

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

gems

and

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

dropped slightly

while

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

engineered goods increased gradually.

However

, in table displays the value of

textiles

dramatically increased .

In contrast

gems

and

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

values decreased. In terms of time ,

textiles

earned money increased by 7

billion

dollars in 2016 but

on the contrary

gems

and

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

collected money went down

Change preposition

from

show examples

billion

to 41

billion

dollars. The first two petroleum

products

and engineered goods were increased by approximately 1

billion

and 3

billion

respectively.

However

, agricultural

products

was remained

Change to the active voice

remained

show examples

relatively unchanged

Change preposition

show examples

billion

dollars

Change preposition

from

show examples

2015 to 2016.

On the other hand

, the percentage of

textiles

value went up dramatically

15.24

Change preposition

by 15.24

show examples

percent and

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

highest changed product was engineered goods increased

8.5

Change preposition

by 8.5

show examples

%. Petroleum

products

stock increased by 3%

whereas

, agricultural

products

rosen

Correct your spelling

rose

slightly

0.81

Change preposition

by 0.81

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2016.

In contrast

gems

and

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

declined suddenly

5.18

Change preposition

by 5.18

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in the year 2016.

Submitted by tselmuunzagaa on Thu Oct 03 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words textiles, gems, jewelry, billion, products with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

192 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

export value
economic sector
percentage change
increment
decrement
fluctuation
trend analysis
year-on-year comparison
significant growth/decline
stagnation
market dynamics
fiscal repercussions
trade balance
competitive advantage

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