The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#value #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar chart illustrates the earned money of one country's

export

Fix the agreement mistake

exports

show examples

in five different categories from 2015 to 2016. The table represents the

porportion

Correct your spelling

proportion

Correct your spelling

show examples

value change between 2015 to 2016.

Overall

Linking Words

, the highest

changed

Replace the word

change

show examples

and earned export was

textiles

Use synonyms

but

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

gems

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

dropped slightly

while

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

engineered goods increased gradually.

However

Linking Words

, in table displays the value of

textiles

Use synonyms

dramatically increased .

In contrast

Linking Words

gems

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

values decreased. In terms of time ,

textiles

Use synonyms

earned money increased by 7

billion

Use synonyms

dollars in 2016 but

on the contrary

Linking Words

gems

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

collected money went down

Change preposition

from

show examples

billion

Use synonyms

to 41

billion

Use synonyms

dollars. The first two petroleum

products

Use synonyms

and engineered goods were increased by approximately 1

billion

Use synonyms

and 3

billion

Use synonyms

respectively.

However

Linking Words

, agricultural

products

Use synonyms

was remained

Change to the active voice

remained

show examples

relatively unchanged

Change preposition

show examples

billion

Use synonyms

dollars

Change preposition

from

show examples

2015 to 2016.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the percentage of

textiles

Use synonyms

value went up dramatically

15.24

Change preposition

by 15.24

show examples

percent and

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

highest changed product was engineered goods increased

8.5

Change preposition

by 8.5

show examples

%. Petroleum

products

Use synonyms

stock increased by 3%

whereas

Linking Words

, agricultural

products

Use synonyms

rosen

Correct your spelling

rose

slightly

0.81

Change preposition

by 0.81

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2016.

In contrast

Linking Words

gems

Use synonyms

and

Use synonyms

jewelry

Change the spelling

jewellery

show examples

price

Fix the agreement mistake

prices

show examples

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

declined suddenly

5.18

Change preposition

by 5.18

show examples

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

in the year 2016.

Submitted by tselmuunzagaa on Thu Oct 03 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words textiles, gems, jewelry, billion, products with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 6 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

192 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

export value
economic sector
percentage change
increment
decrement
fluctuation
trend analysis
year-on-year comparison
significant growth/decline
stagnation
market dynamics
fiscal repercussions
trade balance
competitive advantage

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In some countries, the difference in age between parents and children is generally greater than it was in the past. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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