The charts below show the percentages of male and female students getting top grades in 1960 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentages of male and female students getting top 

grades in 1960 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the 

main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The aforementioned two line graphs depict the proportion of
marks
obtained by both
girls
and
boys
in 1960 and 2000. At a glance, it is
vivid
Correct word choice
clear
show examples
that the highest number of top grades was obtained by
boys
in 2000, standing at below half and the same percentage of
girls
got
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
marks
in
Arts
in the year 1960.
Boys
have a tendency
of getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
higher grades in math and science
whereas
girls
pupils follow the trend of scoring
more
Rephrase
higher
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
languages and
arts
. In 1960, about 22% of male students got top grades compared to
girls
.
However
, the proportion of
boys
having higher
marks
dramatically declined in 2000, standing at 19%. Only a few
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
of
girls
had breakbound and had the top score. From 1960 to 2000,
boys
’ top term in math reduced by 18%.
On the other hand
, approximately 30% of females obtained
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher score in the
arts
in both years, which is one-fourth higher than
boys
’ tendency
of getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
higher
marks
in 1960.
Number
Change the article
A number
The number
show examples
of people getting
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
marks
remained unchanged from 1960 to 2000 for male students and some of
females
Add an article
the females
show examples
in languages dropped by 12%.
Overall
,
girls
should
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
more and more
for getting
Change preposition
to get
show examples
higher
marks
in maths and
boys
should
keep
Verb problem
pay
show examples
more attention
studying
Change preposition
to studying
show examples
Arts
.
Submitted by writing9common on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words marks, girls, boys, arts with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentages
  • top grades
  • achievement
  • gender disparity
  • educational trends
  • academic performance
  • comparison
  • decade
  • educational policy
  • societal expectations
  • improvement
  • educational attainment
  • graduates
  • academic excellence
  • statistics
  • educational landscape
  • benchmark
  • parity
  • gender roles
  • historical data
  • performance indicators
  • educational improvements
  • longitudinal study
  • scholastic achievement
  • gender gap
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