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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the road deaths per 100,000 of population for five countries plus the OECD average from 2001 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Road deaths per 100,000 people 26 24 22 20 18 16 14 12 10 4 2001 2005 2010 →UK —-Australia —USA Brazil India 2015 OECD average *OECD = Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (38 developed economies

The graph below shows the road deaths per 100,000 of population for five countries plus the OECD average from 2001 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Road deaths per 100,000 people 26 24 22 20 18 16 14 12 10 4 2001 2005 2010 →UK —-Australia —USA Brazil India 2015 OECD average *OECD = Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (38 developed economies
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The given graph illustrates the average number of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
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 on the road across five different regions of the world
by
Change preposition
from
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 the years 2001 to 2005
along with
Linking Words
 the research of
Organization
Correct article usage
the Organization
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 For Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) unit of 38 well-developed economies.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the graph that the highest ratio of people dying on the roads
were
Change the verb form
was
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 reported in Brazil and the lowest rate of individuals
died
Wrong verb form
dying
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were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom (UK) from 2001 to 2015. As it is quite visible from the data, in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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, Australia,
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States of America (USA) and
OECD
Correct article usage
the OECD
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 average proportions of death decreased by the years from 6 to 3, 9 to 6, 15 to 12 and 11 to 6 per 100,000 people
respectivley
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the rate of death among the population of Brazil, in comparison to the other countries went up rapidly,
17
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from 17
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 to 22 from the year 2001 to 2015. On the other side,
stablity
Correct your spelling
stability
 in the mortality rate can be seen in India (was16) in between all the years.
Also
Linking Words
, the numbers remained unchanged for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 which was 15
in
Change preposition
from
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 2001 to 2005 and for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 was 3
in
Change preposition
from
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 2010 to 2015.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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