IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the road deaths per 100,000 of population for five countries plus the OECD average from 2001 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Road deaths per 100,000 people 26 24 22 20 18 16 14 12 10 4 2001 2005 2010 →UK —-Australia —USA Brazil India 2015 OECD average *OECD = Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (38 developed economies

The graph below shows the road deaths per 100,000 of population for five countries plus the OECD average from 2001 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Road deaths per 100,000 people 26 24 22 20 18 16 14 12 10 4 2001 2005 2010 →UK —-Australia —USA Brazil India 2015 OECD average *OECD = Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (38 developed economies
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The given graph illustrates the average number of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths

It seems that death may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 on the road across five different regions of the world
by
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 the years 2001 to 2005
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the research of
Organization
Correct article usage
the Organization

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 For Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) unit of 38 well-developed economies.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be seen from the graph that the highest ratio of people dying on the roads
were
Change the verb form
was

The plural verb were does not appear to agree with the singular subject ratio. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 reported in Brazil and the lowest rate of individuals
died
Wrong verb form
dying

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb died. Consider changing it.

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were
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb were appears to be unnecessary here.

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in
United
Correct article usage
the United

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 Kingdom (UK) from 2001 to 2015. As it is quite visible from the data, in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

Your article usage with the geographic name UK may be incorrect.

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, Australia,
United
Correct article usage
the United

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 States of America (USA) and
OECD
Correct article usage
the OECD

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 average proportions of death decreased by the years from 6 to 3, 9 to 6, 15 to 12 and 11 to 6 per 100,000 people
respectivley
Correct your spelling
respectively

If you don’t want respectivley to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the rate of death among the population of Brazil, in comparison to the other countries went up rapidly,
17
Change preposition
from 17

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 to 22 from the year 2001 to 2015. On the other side,
stablity
Correct your spelling
stability

If you don’t want stablity to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in the mortality rate can be seen in India (was16) in between all the years.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the numbers remained unchanged for
USA
Correct article usage
the USA

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 which was 15
in
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 2001 to 2005 and for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 was 3
in
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 2010 to 2015.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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