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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Contribution as % of India's GDP

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Contribution as % of India's GDP
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The graph illustrates the share of India’s gross domestic product (GDP) which was contributed by agriculture, industry, and services from 1960 to 2000. Over the forty-year period, the agriculture
sector
Use synonyms
 provided a big contribution to India’s economy even though the share of the GDP dropped steadily year by year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
services
Correct article usage
the services
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sector
Use synonyms
 rose constantly during four decades.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
industrial
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the industrial
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sector
Use synonyms
 was unchanged significantly during the whole period. In 1960, the agriculture
sector
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 contributed the highest
percentage
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 to India’s GDP which was recorded at 62%.
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 dropped constantly until reaching the lowest
percentage
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 at 15% in 2000. In 1960, services became the second-highest contributor to
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
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 economy at 18% and it grew steadily to approximately 25% in 1980. In that year, it jumped significantly to 63% in 2000, becoming the highest contribution in the period.
Industrial
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The industrial
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sector
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, remained unchanged. The contribution of
industrial
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the industrial
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sector
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 grew only between 1960 and 1980, from 15% to 24%.
However
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 plateaued from 1980 onwards at 25%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sector, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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