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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagram illustrates the multitude of steps olive oil undergoes before being produced. Overall, there are 7 steps olive oil goes through before being packaged then released into the marketplace. The first station is far from the industrial environment and consist on picking the olives from their tree. Second step is to rinse our product with cold water before pushing it in a belt, directly relied to a smashing machine. Thanks to the previous appliance, the olive paste is isolated from the olive stones, which are undesirable for olive oil manufacture. Afterwards, the pressing moment. Indeed, the latter is put in a bag with holes so it can and crushed with a convenient pressing matching. The mixture is then crafted to separate the oil from the water. Finally comes the storage of our product before selling it. To conclude, we notice according to the figure that olive oil manufacture requires a plenty of work-seven steps- and a specific knowledge.

The diagram illustrates the multitude of steps olive oil undergoes before being produced. Overall, there are 7 steps olive oil goes through before being packaged then released into the marketplace. The first station is far from the industrial environment and consist on picking the olives from their tree. Second step is to rinse our product with cold water before pushing it in a belt, directly relied to a smashing machine. Thanks to the previous appliance, the olive paste is isolated from the olive stones, which are undesirable for olive oil manufacture. Afterwards, the pressing moment. Indeed, the latter is put in a bag with holes so it can and crushed with a convenient pressing matching. The mixture is then crafted to separate the oil from the water. Finally comes the storage of our product before selling it. To conclude, we notice according to the figure that olive oil manufacture requires a plenty of work-seven steps- and a specific knowledge.
The diagram illustrates the multitude of steps olive
oil
Use synonyms
 undergoes before being produced.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 7 steps olive
oil
Use synonyms
 goes through before being packaged
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 released into the marketplace. The first station is far from the industrial environment and
consist
Change the verb form
consists
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on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 picking the olives from their tree.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 step is to rinse our product with cold water before pushing it in a belt, directly
relied
Wrong verb form
relying
show examples
to
Change the preposition
on
upon
show examples
 a smashing machine. Thanks to the previous appliance, the olive paste is isolated from the olive stones, which are undesirable for olive
oil
Use synonyms
 manufacture. Afterwards, the pressing moment. Indeed, the latter is put in a bag with holes so it can and crushed with a convenient pressing matching. The mixture is
then
Linking Words
 crafted to separate the
oil
Use synonyms
 from the water.
Finally
Linking Words
 comes the storage of our product before selling it.
To conclude
Linking Words
, we notice
according to
Linking Words
 the figure that olive
oil
Use synonyms
 manufacture requires a plenty of work-seven steps- and
a specific knowledge
Remove the article
specific knowledge
a piece of specific knowledge
show examples
.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words oil with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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