IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Hollywood largely influenced other film industries across the world.
Thus
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, it is believed that the central government ought to invest capital
for
Change preposition
in
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production
Add an article
the production
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 of local
films
Use synonyms
 to
safegaurd
Correct your spelling
safeguard
 the culture, and represent it globally. I agree with
this
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 notion, considering the fact that every nation has its own identity, language, morals and values that are inculcated into
films
Use synonyms
.
Further
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, investment in domestic production houses
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 worldwide recognition; contributing to the national GDP and generating employment opportunities. First and foremost, the cultural representation of every country is essential because the languages, morals and values are different for different nationalities.
For instance
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,
Amercians
Correct your spelling
Americans
 have varied
culutral
Correct your spelling
cultural
 values than Chinese, and the language and dialect
is
Change the verb form
are
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 very different between the people of
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 nationalities. Movies and shows are a major source of entertainment for individuals.
Thus
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, they play an important role in
development
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the development
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 of the country and the government should help
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
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 culture through
films
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
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, in order to attract
wider
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a wider
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 audience, globalization of local talent
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 crucial, as not only does it increase the country's GDP but
also
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 creates new employment opportunities.
For example
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, Bollywood is the second
renowned
Correct quantifier usage
most renowned
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 industry after Hollywood, and ever since achieving a global status, Bollywood has helped in
development
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the development
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 of India in all aspects.
Consequently
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, as more and more movies are released, more crew is required.
Hence
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,
this
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 helps in revenue generation. In conclusion, in my opinion, the government should be accountable for promoting local
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
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.
Films
Use synonyms
 represent cultures and protect them for newer generations.
Furthermore
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, they
also
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 sustain
representation
Correct article usage
the representation
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 of talents on international platforms, benefiting the economy as well.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and support your points.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the thesis, setting up a strong foundation for the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your agreement with the statement.
logical structure
Good logical flow between ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
complete response
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing cultural representation and economic benefits.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Americanisation
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Local cinema
  • Cultural diversity
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Film subsidies
  • National identity
  • Artistic expression
  • Blockbusters
  • Cultural preservation
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