IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the stages in the food production chain of the United States. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the stages in the food production chain of the United States. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#stages #food #production #chain #states #summarise #information #features #comparisons
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given diagram illustrates the stages of
food
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the United States.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
is going
Wrong verb form
goes
show examples
 through four stages to reach the table of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
restaurants and the houses of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
 from the stage "
Production
Use synonyms
". It consists of
cow
Correct article usage
a cow
show examples
 gazing in the fields.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the meat and milk of the cow go through processing
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 by a machine. The third step is distribution, where the
food
Use synonyms
 products become prepared to be distributed by a truck. The truck distributes the
food
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
twodifferent
Correct your spelling
two different
places. One is to the restaurants, and another is to the retail. In the restaurant, the
food
Use synonyms
 is prepared to be served by
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 restaurant staff.
Then
Linking Words
 the
food
Use synonyms
 is consumed by the consumers of the restaurant.
Moreover
Linking Words
, from the retail
shop
Add a comma
shop,
show examples
 the
food
Use synonyms
 is going to the houses and prepared for consumption in the house.
Then
Linking Words
, the house consumers have it during their meal time.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, production with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: