Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Othe people think that in today's world subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both points and give your opinion

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In
this
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contemporary era,
every
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in every
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country on the earth, there is disagreement around the topic of paramount of teaching
history
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. With regards to
this
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topic, few consider
history
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should
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to be
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a major class in school;
while
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,
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apply
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other
assirt
Correct your spelling
areas
teaching
science
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and
technology
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is
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are
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more crucial. In
this
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topic, I will state
the
Remove the article
apply
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both points and
inculding
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including
my
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may
show examples
contend
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content
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.
To begin
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with, there are numerous factors that support teaching
history
Use synonyms
is necessary in school. First and foremost,
history
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helps people to learn about
legand
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legend
heroes and how they
gave
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made
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a
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apply
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sacrific
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sacrifices
to protect their country.
Therefore
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, residents
alway
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always
remember and
proud
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are proud
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on
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of
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their national heroes.
Consequently
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,
Young
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the Young
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generation gets
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a postive
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postive
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positive
attitude from
legand
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legend
soliders
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soldiers
.
Likewise
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,
history
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teaches the importance of culture and traditions. Many individuals stay connected with their
nation
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nation's
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culture and
ritual
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rituals
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when they have knowledge about their cultural
history
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. For
instace
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instance
, a recent survey conducted by Time News of India indicates that
history
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is
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
sucbject
Correct your spelling
subject
in Punjab state;
notwithsatnding
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notwithstanding
with condition students are more connected with their Punjabi culture as
campare
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compare
compared
to other states in India.
On the other hand
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, teaching
science
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and
technology
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is
also
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a
Change the article
an
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essential part
in
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of
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schools.
Firstly
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, in
this
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modern era, everything is
computerlized
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computerised
;
this
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it is important students should
have
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be
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more active
about
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in
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technology
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, nowadays, many alarming
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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are happening
such
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as global
warning
Correct your spelling
warming
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and
seroius
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serious
diseases.
Science
Use synonyms
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
important subject to control these dangerous concerns.
For example
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, an article written by the University of New York states that the demand
of
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for
show examples
science
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and
technology
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subjects
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased in New York schools by 12% in 2019. In a nutshell,
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according to
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in
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my
opine
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opinion
show examples
, there is no doubt
science
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and
technology
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plays
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play
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a vital role in
human's
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human
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life,
however
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, having a balance between
science
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and
science
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subjects is more important.
Because
Correct word choice
History
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history
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helps us to connect with
out
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our
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roots and
science
Use synonyms
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
us to live in
modern
Add an article
the modern
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world.
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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language grammar
Work on grammatical accuracy and word choice to make your writing clearer. For instance, there are several typos and errors like 'legand' instead of 'legend,' 'contend' instead of 'contention,' and 'computerlized' instead of 'computerized.'
coherence
Ensure topic sentences clearly introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and transitions between points can be smoother.
task achievement
Provide more in-depth analysis or evaluation of the points made. Currently, the points are present, but they could be further elaborated.
coherence
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, helping guide the reader.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, like the survey conducted by Time News of India, to support your arguments, which enhances the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights into
  • past events
  • comprehensive understanding
  • informed citizenship
  • appreciate different cultures
  • critical thinking skills
  • analyzing sources
  • globalized world
  • contextualize current events
  • global challenges
  • advancement and innovation
  • fast-evolving
  • digital world
  • improved quality of life
  • analytical skills
  • problem-solving skills
  • career development
  • technological literacy
  • digitalization
  • automation
  • transform industries
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