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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #five #industries’ #percentage #brazil’s #economy #forecast #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The illustration
provide
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provides
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 information about the economic situation in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Brazil. There are five different
manufacturings
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manufacturers
 that provide
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 of
country
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the country
a country
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 in 2009, 2019 and 2029.
Overall
, in all 3
years
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years,
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 the
finance
 field has the best rates
on
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in
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 comparison with others. All industries have
trend
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a trend
the trend
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 of decrease excluding
of
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apply
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finance
 and oil, coal and gas. As seen in the diagram,
period
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the period
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 between 2009 and 2019
finance
 had increased from 30% to almost 35%.
Also
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Also,
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 food processing and oil, coal and gas had
rose
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risen
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 to approximately 20% and 30%. Their rates were 10% and 25%, respectively.
However
, manufacturing and tourism had decreased by 5%
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, to nearly 15% and 20%, respectively. As shown in the graph, food processing and oil, coal and gas will have the same situation. They will
fallen
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fall
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 down to the same proportion as in 2009.
Tourism
Correct article usage
The tourism
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 index won't even improve or decrease.
Finance
 will increase to approximately 40%,
while
 manufacturing will decrease to 5%.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words finance with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "provide" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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