IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write a letter to your friend about a job opportunity you came across that they might find interesting. In your letter, you should: - give some details about the job -mention how came across the job opportunity -explain why you feel the job would be suitable for your friend

#friend #job #opportunity #-mention #-explain
Hi John, Hope you are doing
good
Change the word
well
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. I
have remembered
Wrong verb form
remember
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 that you told me
about
Change preposition
apply
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that you are seeking for job in computer stream
on
Change preposition
in
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 which you have pretty good prior experience. I know one position is open at TDC company fortunately they are
also
 looking for
Consultant
Correct article usage
a Consultant
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 role who has good knowledge about Team management and
handlining
Verb problem
handling
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 clients. Actually, I generally keep an eye on investing some amount of time on LinkedIn to explore what is happening
around
Correct pronoun usage
around me
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. Since I have
premium
Add an article
a premium
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 account will be notified with job notifications. I saw that there is an open position at ABC company for
consultant
Correct article usage
a consultant
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 role and
tech
Correct article usage
the tech
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 stack is JAVA.
Moreover
, since you have
well
Correct word choice
apply
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experience with
required
Correct article usage
the required
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 technology and
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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, thought would be
best
Correct article usage
the best
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 fit for you.
Also
, preferably you are willing to have
remote
Correct article usage
a remote
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 work system fortunately ABC company is open to work from
home
Correct your spelling
work-from-home
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 option. Think about it and let me know, one of my
friend's
Change the noun form
friends
friend
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 is working in that firm, if interested can refer
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
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 the position. Looking forward to
hear
Change the verb form
hearing
show examples
 from you! Best Regards, Swathi Mutra.
Submitted by swathi.neni1913 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Clarify the company name where the job opportunity is available, as it is inconsistent (TDC vs ABC).
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve paragraph structure by clearly separating ideas and providing a more logical flow to the letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure all details are coherent and consistently refer to the correct company and job details.
Task Achievement
Friendly and encouraging tone, suitable for informal communication with a friend.
Task Achievement
Includes all necessary elements of the task: job details, source of information, and why the job is suitable.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good engagement and closing remarks add a personal touch to the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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