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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart below show electricity generation by sources in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

The pie chart below show electricity generation by sources in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.
#show #electricity #generation #sources #zealand #germany #information #features #comparisions
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The pie chart
represent
Change the verb form
represents
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electricity
Use synonyms
 by
source
Use synonyms
 in
new zealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
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 and
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
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 in 1980 and 2010.It’s been elaborated
underneath
Rephrase
below
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. By looking at the chart we can see that
electricity
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production
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased significantly in 2010 as compared to 1980 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 the methods of
production
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 of
electricity
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has
Change the verb form
have
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 changed In
new zealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
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 approximately 50 percent of
electricity
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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 produced using coal (56
units
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 ) in 1980.
Electricity
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 produced by natural
gas
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 and
hydro
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 are in equal proportion, each 30
units
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 .
Petroleum
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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least
Correct article usage
the least
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 used
source
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 for
production
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 in in 1980. Only 11
units
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produced
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were produced
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 in 1980 . In 2010
production
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 from natural
gas
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 and
petroleum
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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almost vanished ,Each producing 2
units
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 .
Whereas
Linking Words
 the use of coal and
hydro
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 has been increased in 2010 . 46
units
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 are produced using
hydro
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 and 150
units
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 are produced using coal In 1980 ,Germany used almost all
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source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 to generate
electricity
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 in almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 proportion. 28
units
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 are generated from natural
gas
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 and coal each , 20
units
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 using nuclear and 22 using
petroleum
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.
Hydro
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 is the least used
source
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 in 1980 which is responsible for only 7
units
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 in Germany. In 2010 nuclear energy
become
Wrong verb form
became
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 the main
source
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 to generate
electricity
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. It produced 155
units
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 in 2010.
Use
Correct article usage
The use
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 of Natural
gas
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 and
hydro
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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almost vanished in 2010.
Genration
Correct your spelling
Generation
 through
petroleum
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 and coal are in
in
Correct your spelling
an
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 equal ratio. They
result
Wrong verb form
resulted
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 in
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production
Add an article
the production
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 of around 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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Use synonyms
electricity
Change preposition
of electricity
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 combined in 2010
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, source, production, units, gas, hydro, petroleum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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