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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The pie chart below show electricity generation by sources in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.

The pie chart below show electricity generation by sources in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant.
#show #electricity #generation #sources #zealand #germany #information #features #comparisions
The pie chart
represent
Change the verb form
represents
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electricity
 by
source
 in
new zealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
show examples
 and
germany
Change the capitalization
Germany
show examples
 in 1980 and 2010.It’s been elaborated underneath By looking at the chart we can see that
electricity
production
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased significantly in 2010 as compared to 1980 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 the methods of
production
 of
electricity
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 changed In
new zealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
show examples
 approximately 50 percent of
electricity
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 produced using coal (56
units
 ) in 1980.
Electricity
 produced by natural
gas
 and
hydro
 are in equal proportion, each 30
units
 .
Petroleum
is
Wrong verb form
was
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least
Correct article usage
the least
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 used
source
 for
production
 in in 1980. Only 11
units
produced
Add a missing verb
were produced
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 in 1980 . In 2010
production
 from natural
gas
 and
petroleum
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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almost vanished ,Each producing 2
units
 .
Whereas
 the use of coal and
hydro
 has been increased in 2010 . 46
units
 are produced using
hydro
 and 150
units
 are produced using coal In 1980 ,Germany used almost all
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 to generate
electricity
 in almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 proportion. 28
units
 are generated from natural
gas
 and coal each , 20
units
 using nuclear and 22 using
petroleum
.
Hydro
 is the least used
source
 in 1980 which is responsible for only 7
units
 in Germany. In 2010 nuclear energy
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the main
source
 to generate
electricity
. It produced 155
units
 in 2010.
Use
Correct article usage
The use
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 of Natural
gas
 and
hydro
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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almost vanished in 2010.
Genration
Correct your spelling
Generation
 through
petroleum
 and coal are in
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 equal ratio. They
result
Wrong verb form
resulted
show examples
 in
production
Add an article
the production
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 of around 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
electricity
Change preposition
of electricity
show examples
 combined in 2010
Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on

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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, source, production, units, gas, hydro, petroleum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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