Due to so many young people dropping out from school, the rate of unemployment is increasing, and it affects our society in different ways. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce this?

The increasing dropout rate among
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young
oung
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young
people and its results
effect
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effects
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on unemployment is a multifaceted issue.
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In
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in
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In
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my opinion,
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apply
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the
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apply
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academic,
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and mental
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mental
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and mental
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health
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, as well as the social issues,
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as well
as
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and
show examples
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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social
issues
is the causes of school dropout and unemployment. First of all,the academic challenges
is
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are
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the most young
people
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people's
show examples
diffculties
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difficulties
to face,
students
who struggle
academially
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academically
may feel discouraged
choose
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and choose
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to leave school.
Moreover
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Moreover,
show examples
they
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the
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lack of support,insufficient tutoring or mentoring can leave at-risk
student
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students
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without the help they need.
Secondly
,
the
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apply
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mental
health
issues
is
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are
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one of the
reason
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reasons
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,schools should offer accessible mental
health
recources
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resources
to help
students
cope with challenges.
In addition
,the educating
atudents
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students
about mental
health
can reduce stigma and encourage seeking help.
Thirdly
,
the
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apply
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social
issues
is
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are
show examples
one of the
reason
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reasons
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,
the
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for the
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family dynamic
such
as instability or lack of parental support,the
students
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student's
students'
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lack of
encourage
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encouragement
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andunderstanding
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and understanding
.
Therefore
,
this
is
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apply
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a
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apply
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negative
influences
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influence
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from peers can lead
students
to disengage from their education.
overall
,the reasons why addressing the dropout crisis and rising unemployment
is
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are
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that
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apply
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the academic,
the
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apply
show examples
mental
health
as well
as
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and
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
issues
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clarity of ideas by avoiding frequent grammatical errors that may obscure meanings.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate the main points more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen logical structure by clearly defining how each of the reasons contributes to the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion that help structure the essay well.
Task Achievement
The essay identifies academic challenges, mental health, and social issues as causes, which provides a clear framework for the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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