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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph compares the percentage of international students and the percentage of UK learners gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university.

The graph compares the percentage of international students and the percentage of UK learners gaining second class degrees or better at a major UK university.
#percentage #students #uk #learners #second #class #degrees #university
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The bar chart illustrates the difference between the percentage of foreign and local
students
Use synonyms
 gaining
second class
Add a hyphen
second-class
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 or above degrees at a major UK university.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be noticed that
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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 percentage of international learners
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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chose Information Technology
while
Linking Words
 sociology is the most chosen for British
students
Use synonyms
. Regarding the
oversea
Correct your spelling
overseas
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students
Use synonyms
, more than 80% of them chose Information Technology as their field of study and Electrical Engineering Engineering is the second most chosen with almost 80% contribution.
Next,
Linking Words
nursing contributes highly with roughly 76%, following Art History by 70% meanwhile Sociology and English Literature had shared presumably 65%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, International Law
students
Use synonyms
 had the lowest rate of almost 50%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Sociology and Art History had the highest percentage of almost 80% for UK
students
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, Nursing and English Literature
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the next high contributing degrees for British
students
Use synonyms
 with about 75%. In comparison to International
students
Use synonyms
, International Law had one of the highest percentages, 70%,
while
Linking Words
 Electrical Engineering and Information Technology as being the lowest
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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with 60% and 57%.
However
Linking Words
, Accountancy shared the same rate of almost 60% with International
Students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by abdulboriysog17 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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