IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Lower the line graph shows the percentage of tourist to England who visited for not similar attractions in Brighton.

Lower the line graph shows the percentage of tourist to England who visited for not similar attractions in Brighton.
#line #percentage #tourist #england #attractions #brighton
Lower the line graph shows the percentage of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 to England who visited for not similar attractions in Brighton. We can see that
pier
 in the
last
 place, and in the first place is
pavilion
Add an article
a pavilion
the pavilion
show examples
.
This
 graph line shows us that the situation happened between 1980 to 2010.
Pavillion
Correct article usage
The pavillion
show examples
 in 1980 was 25% but after
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 years
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 steadily
rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
50% in 1995.
By contrast
festival
Correct article usage
the festival
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
30% and is the highest start. The trend for the festival was similar to the pavilion.
Percentage
Correct article usage
The percentage
show examples
 of tourists to
pier
Add an article
the pier
show examples
 was lower than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
 places. Tourists to the
pier
rise
Wrong verb form
have risen
show examples
 significantly.
Pier
 starts with 10% from 1980 to 2010. Piers graph
also
 ended the year up from 10% to 22%. But by the way art gallery was the least popular. It was steadily fall from 22% to 7%
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pier with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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