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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The supplied bar chart indicates the
amount
Use synonyms
 of enjoyable
hobby
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time
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 spent by
men
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 and
women
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 various hiring positions. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest
amount
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 of
leisure
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time
Use synonyms
enjoyed
Add a missing verb
is enjoyed
show examples
 by unemployed
men
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, females did not spend
hobby
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 in
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 jobs which is the lowest
proportion
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 of
leisure
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time
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. Unemployed
men
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 spend approximately 85% of their
time
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 in entertainment, (which is the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
hobby
Use synonyms
time
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 over the period) just ahead of retired
men
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 with nearly 82%
leisure
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time
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 spent.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
amount
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 of entertainment for unemployed
women
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 is the same as retired females
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
show examples
 for roughly 79% of
leisure
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time
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
proportion
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 of spare
time
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 for
women
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 who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 in
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 jobs is just over a third. (which is the lowest
amount
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 of
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 over the whole year).
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
hobby
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time
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 for housewives is a bit as much as the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of spare
time
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 for employed
women
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 in
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 jobs,
contributed
Wrong verb form
contributing
show examples
 at 50% and 40%, respectively.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, hobby, time, men, women, leisure, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure time
  • employment status
  • full-time employment
  • part-time employment
  • unemployed
  • retired
  • housewives
  • gender comparison
  • notable differences
  • allocate time
  • trend analysis
  • work-life balance
  • time management
  • societal norms
  • economic factors
  • gender-specific trends
  • employment transition
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