You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: An increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case, and what solutions are possible? Write at least 250 word
Some people are of the opinion that increasing the manufacturing of consumer products leads to
a
harm to the natural Remove the article
apply
environment
. In this
essay, I would
explain the
underlying reasons resulting in Wrong verb form
will
this
issue before offering some solutions to cope with the problem effectively.
There are some driving factors behind doing harm to the natural environment
by
the growth in Change preposition
through
the goods production
. The most remarkable cause is the extractive activities like mining of raw materials and overfishing, which directly cause the degradation of natural Change to a genitive case
the production of the goods
the production of the good
resources
. The process of mining for minerals often leads to deforestation, habitat destruction, and soil erosion, which in turn disrupts ecosystems. Additionally
, the overexploitation of marine resources
such
as overfishing may depletes
fish populations Change the verb form
deplete
fastly
, leading to the collapse of marine ecosystems and endangered species. Another reason is that people today, particularly in industries, rely more on fossil fuels in production processes which release large amounts of carbon dioxide and methane Rephrase
quickly
as well as
contribute to greenhouse gas emissions and exacerbate climate change.
There are some solutions that I suggest to deal with these serious environmental issues. The most effective method is raising people’s awareness of the natural degradation that will affect their lives directly if they don’t alter the ways they used to manufacture. Industries should use renewable resources
instead
of using
fossil fuel power to mitigate the Verb problem
apply
emission
released into the Fix the agreement mistake
emissions
environment
as well as
climate change. For example
, Costa Rica, relying almost entirely on hydroelectric, geothermal, and wind power, demonstrates that a transition to 100% renewable energy is achievable and economically viable. Moreover
, solving these problems is a huge challenge that needs the corporations of big organizations. Governments should enact strict laws and policies to limit activities that damage the environment
as well as
control commercial exploitation to
natural Change preposition
of
resources
.
In conclusion, the development in processing
of consumer products may enhance the domestic economy; Add an article
the processing
however
, it also
brings about some drawbacks for natural
Add an article
the natural
environment
and resources
. I believe that raising people’s awareness is the key factor to deal
with these problems, Change preposition
in dealing
along with
the support of laws and policies introduced by governments.Submitted by elsenglish16992 on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses both causes and solutions adequately, it could benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points, especially in the 'causes' section. For instance, naming specific countries or companies that have faced environmental challenges due to consumer goods production could strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay's arguments are mostly clear, but occasionally lack precision. Be sure to maintain clarity by clearly linking each point back to the essay prompt. For example, clearly state how each factor you mention directly contributes to environmental damage.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly present the key points. However, ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main arguments more cohesively, linking back to the problem and solutions discussed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains logical structure throughout, but could improve the flow between paragraphs. Use transitional phrases more effectively to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
language
Make sure to proofread for grammar mistakes such as subject-verb agreement and incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'depletes' should be 'deplete') to enhance clarity and precision.
task achievement
You have structured the essay effectively with clear paragraphs that address the cause and solution aspects of the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents a comprehensive response to the task and successfully covers both sides of the problem: the causes and the potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the reference to Costa Rica's renewable energy, enhances the persuasiveness of your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example