IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addiiton to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all thier time qnd attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#university #students #subjects #addiiton #thier #time #qnd #attention #qualification
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There has been an ongoing conflict about whether university
students
 could take not only mandatory
couses
Correct your spelling
courses
causes
 but
also
addiitonal
Correct your spelling
additional
lectures
 during their education period.
This
 phenomenon can be regarded as both
favorale
Correct your spelling
favourable
 and
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
 and it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be discussed throughout the essay. My opinion will be reflected
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 latter. Some
students
 are believed to enhance their skills if they get extra
lectures
 that are not related to their
departments
.
For instance
, an engineering student might add finance
lectures
 to his or her curriculum. By delving into finance, he or she will be capable of whether they should save or invest money in their professional career. If they decide to construct a bridge in the distance future, they will select the appropriate project
that is
 financially convenient. In
addiiton
Correct your spelling
addition
, an economics student may take
lectures
 in various fields two of which are politics and
physchologhy
Correct your spelling
psychology
, as these domains are linked to
ecomomics
Correct your spelling
economics
economies
 to a great extent. Politics enables
students
 to gain invaluable insights
about
Change preposition
into
show examples
 how political incidents like elections affect economic indicators, including inflation and unemployment.
Furthermore
, comprehending the concepts of
physchologhy
Correct your spelling
psychology
gives information to
students
 about how personal attitudes determine the economy
while
 making
decisons
Correct your spelling
decisions
.
On the other hand
, some
departments
 require a solid
concentrantion
Correct your spelling
concentration
concentrations
. For
examle
Correct your spelling
example
,
department
Correct article usage
the department
show examples
 of
law
Capitalize word
Law
show examples
 contains a profound knowledge, causing
students
 to
be excel
Change the verb form
excel
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
solely in their field. If law
students
 are willing
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 defend their clients in one day, they are supposed to understand the essence of the laws.
This
 situation is
valid
Rephrase
also valid
show examples
 for
also
 medicine department, making people get
stucked
Correct your spelling
stuck
 to the department on the grounds that their curriculum includes more mandatory
lectures
 compared to other areas. From my perspective, what
students
 should do to boost
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 skills is to select a range of
couses
Correct your spelling
courses
causes
 from other
departments
.
Although
 it is hard to apply that strategy to all fields, it is vital for all
students
 to acquire skills in
diiferent
Correct your spelling
different
 topics, allowing them to pursue better career opportunities. Bearing in mind the aforementioned points, we can draw the conclusion that
students
 had better attain various
lectures
 as many as they can. Unless they study
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain
departments
, receiving information
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 diverse subjects contributes to their personal development.
Submitted by eniscankara13 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that each argument is fully elaborated with detailed explanations. Also, provide a clearer stance in your opinion, particularly connecting it well with the arguments presented.
coherence and cohesion
Work on enhancing coherence by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use linking words or phrases to connect ideas more clearly.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples, which strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing good structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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