The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the USA, Canada, the UK and Japan in 2009.

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The bar graph illustrates the percentages of expenses in five particular sectors in four countries (

USA

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Canada

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, the

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and

Japan

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) in 2009.

Overall

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, it can be seen that housing was the number-one category on the list,

while

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health care saw the lowest points. Another interesting change is that clothing witnessed almost the same point in all countries. Looking at the details, the

USA

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and the

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were slightly as popular as

Canada

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and

Japan

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, 27%, 24%, 21% and 23%, respectively.

However

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, healthcare registered a minimal percentage. The

USA

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was twice as high as

Canada

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Likewise

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Canada

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demonstrated 4% and the

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saw only 2%, making it the least well-known category. Regarding the other categories, in food ,

Japan

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(23%) was nowhere near as high as the

USA

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(14%),

whereas

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the United Kingdom (20%) was slightly

popular

Correct quantifier usage

more popular

show examples

than

Canada

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(15%).

Moreover

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, in housing,

Canada

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and

Japan

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saw similar percentages (23%),

whereas

Linking Words

the figures for the United States were 26%, and the

Use synonyms

were 24%.

Correct article usage

The

show examples

final sector is clothing,

Japan

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and the United States witnessed similar points (4%).

Similarly

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Canada

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and the US

also

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registered the same percentages (6%).

Submitted by halilova039 on Tue Oct 15 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, canada, uk, japan with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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The bar chart below shows shares of expenditures for five major categories in the USA, Canada, the UK and Japan in 2009.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Nowadays people are trying to have a successful career and happy family life at the same time. What problems could this create? How can people overcome them?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. others believe children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.