Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Nowadays, a lot of people
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
video
games
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a result of it some argue that
video
games
can be a useful educational tool,
while
others believe that
its
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
have a bad impact on those who
playing
Change the form of the verb
play
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
However
, in
this
essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion. On the one hand, playing
video
games
by children teenagers can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them in a
badly
Change the word
bad
show examples
way.
Firstly
,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
tools can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
of brain and make them addicted to it, so
this
also
can
influance
Correct your spelling
influence
in their
personialty
Correct your spelling
personality
personalty
, they may become not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scoial
Correct your spelling
social
children so they will not have many relationships.
For example
, a study conducted by Oxford University revealed that kids who
born
Add a missing verb
were born
show examples
in
millennium
Correct article usage
the millennium
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century,
they are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
addicated
Correct your spelling
addicted
to iPad and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
didn't
experiences
Change the verb form
experience
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life and have social lives.
Moreover
, I
firmaly
Correct your spelling
firmly
support the idea that digital
games
have an adverse effect on who
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
show examples
them.
On the other hand
, if the parents choose the right
games
for their children it can be a beneficial tool for their kids and
also
improve their character and
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
their focus.
For instance
, chess and other
games
that depend on their attention and solve problems,
then
it can be a valuable
resourse
Correct your spelling
resource
.
Therefore
, anyone should be careful of what
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
and
watchs
Correct your spelling
watches
watch
, even kids their family should take care of them and always give them the things
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
will help them in the future. In conclusion, to play
video
games
and have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adavtages
Correct your spelling
advantages
of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, the person must put a limit
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
he will spend on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
choose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
games
that include problems to solve and
improving
Change the form of the verb
improve
show examples
his focus.
Submitted by daliaakram35 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words or phrases consistently to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Some spelling and grammatical errors need attention. Proofreading your essay could help in identifying these issues and improving clarity.
task achievement
You've tried addressing both perspectives of the argument, which helps in presenting a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively sums up your main arguments and provides a clear stance on the topic, which is great.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Interactivity
  • Motivational
  • Educational software
  • Game-based learning
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Social interaction
  • Learning outcomes
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Addictive behavior
  • Inappropriate content
  • Health repercussions
  • Multimedia tools
  • Critical analysis
  • Virtual environments
  • User engagement
  • Psychosocial impacts
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