Some people regard video games as useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

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Nowadays, a lot of people
playing
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play
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video
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games
Use synonyms
,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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a result of it some argue that
video
Use synonyms
games
Use synonyms
can be a useful educational tool,
while
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others believe that
its
Correct pronoun usage
they
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have a bad impact on those who
playing
Change the form of the verb
play
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
However
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, in
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives and provide my own opinion. On the one hand, playing
video
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games
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by children teenagers can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them in a
badly
Change the word
bad
show examples
way.
Firstly
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,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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tools can
effect
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affect
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of brain and make them addicted to it, so
this
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also
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can
influance
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influence
in their
personialty
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personality
personalty
, they may become not
a
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apply
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scoial
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social
children so they will not have many relationships.
For example
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, a study conducted by Oxford University revealed that kids who
born
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were born
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in
millennium
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the millennium
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century,
they are
Wrong verb form
were
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addicated
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addicted
to iPad and
they
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apply
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didn't
experiences
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experience
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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real life and have social lives.
Moreover
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, I
firmaly
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firmly
support the idea that digital
games
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have an adverse effect on who
play
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plays
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them.
On the other hand
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, if the parents choose the right
games
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for their children it can be a beneficial tool for their kids and
also
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improve their character and
rise
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raise
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their focus.
For instance
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, chess and other
games
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that depend on their attention and solve problems,
then
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it can be a valuable
resourse
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resource
.
Therefore
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, anyone should be careful of what
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
and
watchs
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watches
watch
, even kids their family should take care of them and always give them the things
the
Correct your spelling
that
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will help them in the future. In conclusion, to play
video
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games
Use synonyms
and have
an
Correct article usage
apply
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adavtages
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advantages
of
it
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them
show examples
, the person must put a limit
of
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on
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time
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the time
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he will spend on
it
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them
show examples
,
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also
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and also
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choose
the
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apply
show examples
games
Use synonyms
that include problems to solve and
improving
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improve
show examples
his focus.
Submitted by daliaakram35 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words or phrases consistently to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Some spelling and grammatical errors need attention. Proofreading your essay could help in identifying these issues and improving clarity.
task achievement
You've tried addressing both perspectives of the argument, which helps in presenting a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively sums up your main arguments and provides a clear stance on the topic, which is great.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Strategic thinking
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Interactivity
  • Motivational
  • Educational software
  • Game-based learning
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Social interaction
  • Learning outcomes
  • Digital literacy
  • Attention span
  • Addictive behavior
  • Inappropriate content
  • Health repercussions
  • Multimedia tools
  • Critical analysis
  • Virtual environments
  • User engagement
  • Psychosocial impacts
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