Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better job . Others believe there are much wider benefits of University education for both individuals and society . Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The system of
uiversity
Correct your spelling
university
education
has lasted several decades and is an essential platform for
people
to acquire knowledge. Nowadays, there is
saying
Correct article usage
a saying
show examples
that the purpose of
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is to assist
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
in
job
hunting and
job
promotion. Others argue that not only
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
would benefit from
univeristy
Correct your spelling
university
education
,
also
Correct word choice
but also
show examples
the whole
society
would be
strengthed
Replace the word
strengthened
show examples
by
university
education
. These two views will be discussed in the
folllowing
Correct your spelling
following
paper and I will share my perspective
at the end
of
paper
Add an article
the paper
show examples
.
Students
could acquire abundant knowledge from
university
education
.
University
eductaion
Correct your spelling
education
is
high
Add an article
a high
the high
show examples
level of
education
platform,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with primary school and middle school. The content of
university
education
is
directly
Replace the adverb
direct
show examples
to the real
job
requirements,
such
as collaborated projects experiences, networking skills and case
studys
Correct your spelling
studies
study
. Real
job
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
require
poeple's
Correct your spelling
people's
coperation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
skills.
Besides
,
students
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
chances to meet up
successful
Change preposition
with successful
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
man in networking events and
consult
Verb problem
ask
show examples
job
questiosn
Correct your spelling
question
questions
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
experienced
people
.
In addition
to the individual benefit, the whole
society
will
beneift
Correct your spelling
benefit
from the
society
. The balance of
society
strutcure
Correct your spelling
structure
requires enough
empoyment
Correct your spelling
employment
rate.
University
education
peovide
Correct your spelling
provide
provides
a full skill set to
students
who are ambitious
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
job
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
.
Also
, the elites in
society
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to communicate with young
students
who may have interesting ideas
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business and
society
development. It may be a chance for them to work together and develop a new technology and
society
model for the future. In my opinion,
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
is important to both
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
and
society
. It is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
informational bridge between each other.
People
are
alloed
Correct your spelling
allowed
to pursue their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
from
university
education
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
cultivated by these
people
.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Review spelling and grammatical errors to improve clarity and professionalism. For example, correct 'poeple,' 'questiosn,' 'beniefit,' and 'eductaion.'
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to strongly support the main points for each view discussed. For example, cite specific studies, statistics, or real-world examples that illustrate how university education aids job acquisition or benefits society.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay clearly discusses both views and appropriately highlights personal opinions in the conclusion.
Task Achievement
The introduction effectively presents the debate about the purpose of university education and sets up the discussion for both views.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good logical structure is maintained, with paragraphs dedicated to each side of the argument, aiding reader comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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