IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People
Use synonyms
 have divergent opinions about whether all university
students
Use synonyms
 should study whatever they like or some practical subjects that they can use in the
future
Use synonyms
. I believe that studying the courses you truly like is better than forcing yourself to learn something you
don’t
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 like but is advantageous to your
future
Use synonyms
. Admittedly, learning some courses useful in the
future
Use synonyms
 is helpful for your career. Everything was organized wide, and it is more stable and beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
’ futures.
For example
Linking Words
, if
students
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 choose some
degrees
Fix the agreement mistake
degree
show examples
 like engineering, computer science,
medicine
Correct word choice
or medicine
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, it can guarantee
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 salary. But if they major in art, literature, history sociology ,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 might
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 some opportunities to get
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
 salary but
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower possibility and stability. In spite of these arguments, I believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should choose the major they really love for two reasons, motivation and the happiness of the rest of their life.
First,
Linking Words
if
people
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
don’t
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 like the major they choose, they
don’t
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 have passion, and if they
don’t
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 have passion they can’t really be an expert.
Second,
Linking Words
most of the
people
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 would get the job related to their college degree. Working is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 part of
people
Use synonyms
’s lives, and if
students
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 get the degree only for living, they will have to do something that they’re not really like for the rest of their lives. If
people
Use synonyms
don’t
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 like their job, they won’t be happy, and probably be exhausted, like a work machine.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that majoring
something
Correct word choice
in something
show examples
students
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 truly love is vital for their
future
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. In conclusion, choosing
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 degree which is useful for the
future
Use synonyms
 is important.
However
Linking Words
, in my opinion, learning something that
students
Use synonyms
truly
Add a missing verb
are truly
show examples
 passionate about is critical.

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task achievement
To further strengthen your task achievement, consider including more specific and varied examples to support your points. This can help in demonstrating the practical application of your arguments and enhance the depth of your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a seamless flow by using a range of cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'on the other hand'. This would improve the clarity and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay thoroughly addresses both views, providing a balanced perspective and supporting your own opinion effectively.
coherence cohesion
You presented a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your arguments well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical structure, with each paragraph clearly focusing on a particular aspect of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
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