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Band 4

Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion. nbb

Methods of transporation for people travelling to one university for work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the UK. The two pie charts compare five categories of UK travelling percentage of university (train, bicycle, bus, walking, car,) from 2004 to 2009) Units are measured in proportion. nbb
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Methods of transportation to university for people to work or study in 2004 and 2009 in the United Kingdom. The two pie charts collate five categories of travelling
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
train
Use synonyms
, bicycle,
bus
Use synonyms
, walking,
car
Use synonyms
 in 2004 and 2009 In 2004,
pie
Add an article
the pie
a pie
show examples
 chart shows
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of travelling by
car
Use synonyms
 more than others. Travelling by
car
Use synonyms
 had half of all per cent.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
collected
Verb problem
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 third travelling
percentage
Use synonyms
 by
bus
Use synonyms
. After
Use synonyms
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
, a few people voted to bicycle. It is
Use synonyms
percentage
Correct article usage
a percentage
show examples
 above
one
Use synonyms
 from ten.
Then
Linking Words
at the end
Linking Words
 of
place
Correct article usage
the place
show examples
 comes walking and
train
Use synonyms
. In 2009, by looking pie chart travelling
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
bus
Use synonyms
 was more than others. Travelling
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
bus
Use synonyms
 had above half of all per cent. In 2004, travelling by
car
Use synonyms
 was more, but in 2009, travelling by
car
Use synonyms
 had
one
Use synonyms
 third.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, cycling has almost doubled from the previous
one
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
 in 2004, travelling by
train
Use synonyms
 and walking was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 lowest, in 2009, travelling by
train
Use synonyms
 and walking did not change.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, train, bus, car, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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