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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph below shows the fast food consumption in various regions around the world from 1980 to 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the fast food consumption in various regions around the world from 1980 to 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The presented line chart indicates the annual number of Pizzas, Fish and Chips, and
Hamburgers
Use synonyms
 eaten by Australian adolescents in two and a half decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, Both
Pizza
Use synonyms
 and
Hamburgers
Use synonyms
 had
an upward trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
an upward trend
upward trends
show examples
 with a gradual increase.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Fish and Chips number declined by the end of 2000, and it became the least favourable food compared to the other two.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the beginning,
Pizza
Use synonyms
 and
Hamburgers
Use synonyms
 started at just above zero, and both gradually increased until the end of the period, and the two reached approximately 80 and 100 respectively.
Pizza
Use synonyms
 remained static in the
last
Linking Words
5-month
Correct your spelling
5 months
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Fish and Chips was at its peak at
first,
Linking Words
but it dipped for the next 5 years. It slightly increased around 1980 to 1985,
then
Linking Words
 the number declined again throughout the period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it got outnumbered by
Hamburgers
Use synonyms
 in 1985, and
Pizza
Use synonyms
 in 1990, before
finally
Linking Words
 hitting its all-time low
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hamburgers, pizza with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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