Some workers work for the same organization whole their life while others think it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#workers #work #organization #life #organizations

Some people believe that working for the same

company

all their

life

is more

siutable

Correct your spelling

suitable

stable

while

others argue

that is

better to

work

for many different organizations.

This

essay will discuss both points of view and explain why. In my opinion, you need to have many experience in different places in your career

life

. Those who support the idea that you can

work

in many diverse

work

environment

Fix the agreement mistake

environments

show examples

argue that you spend your whole

life

working for the same organization. They believe

this

because you can not gain skills and

enhace

Correct your spelling

enhance

your performance if you stay at the same place.

For example

, a study at Harvard University shows that the most of employees in NYC

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

who

are get

Change the verb form

are getting

show examples

the best performance

Change the preposition

show examples

the end of the year in 2020

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have worked in different organizations before.

Additionally

, they learn a lot of

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

Change preposition

from

show examples

different people.

On the other hand

, some people argue that you spend

whole

Correct pronoun usage

your whole

show examples

life

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

for the same

organzition

Correct your spelling

organization

organisation

. They suggest that

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

you lose your chance to try

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

new things. A good example of

this

is me when I graduated

last

three years I

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

worked for a law firm, and I got a

jop

Correct your spelling

job

offer when I was

worked

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

, it is a good

company

but I

decliened

Correct your spelling

declined

, which shows that I

fond

Correct your spelling

found

show examples

myself without any development. In my opinion,

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

for different organizations is the better approach because you can learn new skills and meet new

indiviuals

Correct your spelling

individuals

and provides more practical advantages. In conclusion, both views have their merits, working for the same

company

can make you suitable,

while

working for different companies

improve

Correct subject-verb agreement

improves

show examples

you in many ways.

However

, I believe that working in different places is the better choice because that can teach you the best things.

Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on Mon Oct 21 2024

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task achievement

To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your points are more comprehensively developed. Though you touch on relevant points, expanding your arguments with more depth and examples could strengthen your essay. Also, clarify the reasons behind your opinion in the introduction as well as in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on structuring your paragraphs more clearly. Use linking words or phrases to signal the progression of your ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next to improve cohesion.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are appropriately present and frame your essay well, providing clear groundwork and a summary for your points.

task achievement

You have used a relevant example which supports the argument for working in different organizations, adding depth to that section.

task achievement

Your essay presents both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some workers work for the same organization whole their life while others think it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: Some people say that poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it difficult to have access to university education. What should be done to solve this problem? 250 words.

First impressions are highly important. So, some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?”