IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: An increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. Why is this the case, and what solutions are possible? Write at least 250 words

#minutes #topic #production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment #case
Consumers
Change the noun form
Consumer
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 goods and a sustainable
environment
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become a debatable topic in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years.The natural ecosystem is undergoing distortion because of the race to produce more
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
.
Although
, a lot of
deveopments
Correct your spelling
developments
development
 are taking place in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology to find some alternative
soultions
Correct your spelling
solutions
 still it is a threat.In the following
paragraphs
Add a comma
paragraphs,
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 I will elucidate the solutions to
this
 problem.
Firstly
 ,It is the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 that can control it remarkably.Authorities should devise
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
policies that impose necessary restrictions to utilize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural resources.
For instance
,A tremendous reduction in the extinction of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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trees has been observed in the
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
 where there are
soem
Correct your spelling
some
 laws which are prohibiting people to cut them for producing
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
 or other goods.
Moreover
,people should be invigorated to play their role
to protect
Change preposition
in protecting
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature.
Secondly
,
industires
Correct your spelling
industries
 should create a road map to compensate
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 loss or to overcome potential
damges
Correct your spelling
damage
 that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 taking place because of significant large production targets.
For example
, in the textile sectors where the machines are working day and night to
genrate substaially
Correct your spelling
generate substantially
 large profits,the residue and wastes should be treated in the factories before dumping
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the natural
environment
.If it has been released before proper treatment
i
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 could cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
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drastic impacts on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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clean water and air
polution
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
Furthermore
,
there
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
 factories should encourage their
interanl
Correct your spelling
internal
 department to take into account
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
how their activities are causing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful impacts on the natural species.Afterwards,those teams should develop the procedures to minimize or eradicate those losses. In conclusion,in the
contemprary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
world
Add a comma
world,
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 the hunger
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 making money is leading to damaging the
environment
severly
Correct your spelling
severely
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 and people should collectively decide the rules to eradicate
this
.There should be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 process of rebuilding .
For example
,
Fcatories
Correct your spelling
Factories
 should plant
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trees before they are harvested
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 would make possible
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sustainable natural
environment
.
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

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task achievement
To improve the task response, address specific examples in more detail. For example, elaborate by providing statistics or referencing specific case studies related to industrial impact on the environment.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure that paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Consider using more transitional words and phrases to link ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Check for spelling and grammatical errors to enhance clarity. For instance, ensure consistency in plural forms and verb tenses.
task achievement
The essay presents both problems and solutions, providing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, making the structure of the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The conclusion provides a concrete example of sustainable practices, which adds to the essay's persuasiveness.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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