IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are about to go on a vacation for a month. A friend from another town will come and stay in your apartment. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •​Explain where your friend can get the key to the apartment- •​Give your friend some instructions about using your apartment Recommend some places to go

#vacation #month #friend #town #apartment #•​explain #apartment- #•​give #instructions #places
Dear Adam, How are you? I hope you’ve been well. I’m just writing to give
some
Correct pronoun usage
you some
show examples
 information about my
apartment
, where you can stay as much time as you want to .
Well
Add the punctuation
Well,
show examples
 I’m going to Alberta tomorrow, which means that you’ll need to collect the keys from Mr. Smith. He lives in
apartment
 36 on the same street and is a good friend of mine. I’ve already told him about you, making it easy for you to meet him and take the keys. Talking about some favour that I’d like you to do for me in the
apartment
, kindly switch on
solar
Correct article usage
the solar
show examples
 panel connection from my drawing room every morning and switch it off in the evening.
This
 is very important as the connection might
otherwise
 start malfunctioning.
Apart from
this
, don’t play loud music after 11 pm as it disturbs neighbours. As for outings, I’d suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
go to North Country Mall. There you’ll find all the stuff of your
choic
Correct your spelling
choice
 as it has some traditional North-Indian showrooms. Don’t forget to hang out with your colleagues at “Pirates of Grills” just
backside
Correct article usage
the backside
show examples
 of the
apartment
/ Don’t forget to enjoy your
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 tandoori dishes at “Pirates of Grills” just
backside
Correct article usage
the backside
show examples
 of the
apartment
. Feel free to call anytime to ask anything about the
apartment
. Keep in touch. / See you soon. Harry
Submitted by kirankhosa681 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include specific instructions for using the facilities in the apartment besides the solar panel switch.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer separators (paragraphs) for different sections of your letter to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing provide a friendly and personal touch to the letter, enhancing its tone.
task achievement
The letter provides a complete response to the task by addressing all the required points, such as key location, apartment instructions, and recommendations.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: