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Band 4

Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

#forms #communication #email #amount #time #people #friends #effect #lives
The bar chart provides information about the quantity of generated energy by the wind in ( India, Denmark, Germany, and the United States )in the years 1985 to 2000.
Overall
, at first glance, Denmark and the US experienced an upward trend
while
 Germany showed a downward trend during the period. Denmark is considered the most common in energy generated by wind in 2000 by 1700.
Although
initially
 decreased sharply to almost 300 in 1985.
Then
 it increased gradually all over ten years. At the same time, the US ranked in the second position by 15000 in 2000. It
also
 had some fluctuations in the
last
 two years.
In contrast
, the rate of generated energy in India and Germany declined at the beginning of the period and
then
 it grew steadily approximately 1200 and 900 respectively.
Submitted by f201501634 on

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task achievement
Include an introductory sentence that clearly outlines the main trends or patterns you will describe in the essay. This will give your response a clear focus from the beginning.
task achievement
Conclude your essay with a summary of the main points discussed. This will help tie the information together, ensuring a comprehensive response.
task achievement
Ensure to compare all the countries mentioned in the bar chart, using specific figures where relevant. This will improve your task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Develop the ideas in separate paragraphs when discussing different trends in countries for easier readability. For instance, use one paragraph per country or trend.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to facilitate a better flow of ideas and maintain coherence across your essay.
coherence cohesion
Correct minor inaccuracies in the description of the data. For example, the information is a bit unclear regarding Denmark's figures over the years. Recheck the statistical details for accuracy.
task achievement
The essay shows a good attempt to compare the data across different countries, demonstrating some level of analytical skills.
coherence cohesion
There is an identifiable structure in the essay, and the data is presented in a logical order to some extent.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern forms of communication
  • email
  • messaging
  • reduce
  • amount of time
  • see friends
  • social lives
  • technology
  • communication
  • faster
  • convenient
  • stay in touch
  • connect
  • online
  • social media platforms
  • meet new people
  • face-to-face interactions
  • maintain relationships
  • excessive reliance
  • social isolation
  • digital communication
  • emotional depth
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