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Band 2

Is it a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much higher salary than other workers in same company.Do you agree or disagree?

#management #workers #company #salary
The table provides key information about indicators of social and economic for 4 regions in 1994. The units are measured in dollars per person.
Overall
, it is clear from the table that Japan had a significant amount of annual income
each
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for each
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 person around 15760$.
In addition
,
the
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Canada had achieved a 99%
of
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adult literacy rate,
whereas
 the
Zaire
 had smallest adult
of
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literacy roughly at 34%.
According to
 what is shown, we noticed
the
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that
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 Canada had
a higher numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher number
higher numbers
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 of daily calorie supply for each person around 3326 cal and that was not
a
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normal for human needs.
Also
, Japan has consumed a lot of calories
by
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apply
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2846 cal and
this
 was not good for their
healthy
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health
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.
In contrast
, the Peru and
Zaire
 were eaten appropriately needs of calories around 1927 of Peru and 1749 of
Zaire
. In terms of life expectancy at birth, it was
an
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equally expenses ,but Japan
was
Verb problem
had
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 a higher income at 78 and the smaller number was
Zaire
in
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at
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 47.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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introduction conclusion present
The introduction does not clearly state the essay's purpose. A clear introduction and conclusion would improve readability.
clear comprehensive ideas
There's a need for more clear and comprehensive ideas. Currently, the response seems fragmented. Work on a more clear and logical structure to your writing.
complete response
Try to more closely adhere to the task's requirements by making sure you address all parts of the task and include relevant specific examples.
highlight task
The essay highlights key differences neatly between regions in economic and social indicators.
highlight coherence cohesion
The data is compared well in some places, giving the reader a sense of regional differences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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