Is it a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much higher salary than other workers in same company.Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table provides key information about indicators of social and economic for 4 regions in 1994. The units are measured in dollars per person.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the table that Japan had a significant amount of annual income
each
Change preposition
for each
show examples
person around 15760$.
In addition
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Canada had achieved a 99%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adult literacy rate,
whereas
Linking Words
the
Zaire
Use synonyms
had smallest adult
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
literacy roughly at 34%.
According to
Linking Words
what is shown, we noticed
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
Canada had
a higher numbers
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher number
higher numbers
show examples
of daily calorie supply for each person around 3326 cal and that was not
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
normal for human needs.
Also
Linking Words
, Japan has consumed a lot of calories
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2846 cal and
this
Linking Words
was not good for their
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the Peru and
Zaire
Use synonyms
were eaten appropriately needs of calories around 1927 of Peru and 1749 of
Zaire
Use synonyms
. In terms of life expectancy at birth, it was
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equally expenses ,but Japan
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
a higher income at 78 and the smaller number was
Zaire
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
47.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
The introduction does not clearly state the essay's purpose. A clear introduction and conclusion would improve readability.
clear comprehensive ideas
There's a need for more clear and comprehensive ideas. Currently, the response seems fragmented. Work on a more clear and logical structure to your writing.
complete response
Try to more closely adhere to the task's requirements by making sure you address all parts of the task and include relevant specific examples.
highlight task
The essay highlights key differences neatly between regions in economic and social indicators.
highlight coherence cohesion
The data is compared well in some places, giving the reader a sense of regional differences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • hierarchy
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • strategic decision-making
  • leadership
  • attraction
  • retention
  • highly skilled
  • experienced professionals
  • motivation
  • reward
  • experience
  • contributions
  • inequality
  • morale
  • productivity
  • performance-driven
  • compensation
  • pay gap
  • result-oriented
What to do next:
Look at other essays: