Children of ages 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing video games than before. What are the effects of this on children, family and society? What are the possible solutions to this situation
Nowadays, it is argued that some
part
of celebrities
argue that their personal life
should not be inform
in the world; Change the verb form
be informed
however
, some people
believe that their own lives
like a part
of their popularity.
Celebrities
are also
just human and they can live without follow
the media.
Change the verb form
following
However
, many people
want to know everything about life
of Add an article
the life
celebrities
and believe that it is like a part
of fame.
In this
essay
I will discuss both sides and give my own opinion.
On the one hand, famous Add a comma
essay,
people
a simple man
like everyone else and it is uncomfortable for them when Fix the agreement mistake
men
paparazzi
Correct article usage
the paparazzi
tracks
them. Paparazzi can take a photo of them or publish fake news about Change the verb form
track
life
of Add an article
the life
celebrities
which they may not like. Moreover
, many people
can hate celebrities
if they heard
something bad about their favorite Wrong verb form
hear
noted
Verb problem
apply
people
. And
Correct word choice
This
this
can lead to bad consequences of life
and career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
for
famous Change preposition
of
people
.
On the other hand
, some part
of society believe that celebrity stalking Fix the agreement mistake
parts
it
is a Correct pronoun usage
apply
part
of their popularity and they become popular thanks to their own lives
. It is always interesting for people
to know everything about life
of their idol, they try to read a lot of information and Add an article
the life
also
follow their love lives
. Thanks to personal life
celebrities
stay famous for a long time. Moreover
, they can increase their popularity from interesting events of
their Change preposition
in
life
like wedding
, Fix the agreement mistake
weddings
birth
of a child, divorce or personal achievements.
In my point of view, celebrity stalking Add an article
the birth
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
horrible as Change the article
apply
celebrities
can be famous thanks to their personal talents and their love lives
should not be published.Submitted by halilova039 on
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Example
Add more specific examples to illustrate your points, such as citing real-life incidents or well-known celebrities.
Development
Try to develop each paragraph more fully by providing additional details and explanations for each point.
Cohesion
Work on more clearly linking ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs for enhanced cohesion.
Understanding
The writer shows a good understanding of the topic by discussing both sides of the argument.
Structure
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the essay effectively.
Task Response
The essay addresses the task by covering effects on celebrities and public opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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