Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Education
is an inseparable part of every individual and influences diverse spheres of life. Recently, it has been a controversial issue whether studying other additional Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
in addition
to their Linking Words
school
curriculum is a good idea. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints and reveal my orientation towards Linking Words
this
statement.
On the one hand, opponents believe that additional curriculums deviate Linking Words
students
’ attention from major Use synonyms
school
lessons. To put it differently, every extra lesson and course requires the dedication of Use synonyms
time
and energy. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
students
should decrease their allocating Use synonyms
time
to Use synonyms
school
Use synonyms
subjects
to practice those extra courses and classes. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they cannot efficiently study and pass their courses and Linking Words
also
it is far Linking Words
likely
to Correct quantifier usage
more likely
be failed
and even not Wrong verb form
fail
to
finish their academic Fix the infinitive
apply
education
. Use synonyms
For example
, I remember the Linking Words
time
when I enrolled in three Use synonyms
excess
classes, music, volleyball, and dance class. Despite the fact that I had been always a top student , my marks dramatically decreased in that educational year.
Correct word choice
apply
On the other hand
, proponents argue that Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
subjects
are vital but not sufficient. To elaborate, Use synonyms
students
need other skills which are essential in Use synonyms
this
era, Linking Words
such
as ICDL, Yoga and marketing as well, to be successful in their careers and personal Linking Words
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Hence
, their future is not summarized into just academic Linking Words
education
, they should learn how to work with state-of-the-art equipment, to be healthy and develop financial management. Use synonyms
For example
, if pupils who just learn physics, math and biology do not become Linking Words
an
Correct article usage
apply
expert
in financial management, they will definitely struggle with hard situations.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that academic Fix the agreement mistake
experts
education
is a crucial factor Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
students
. Use synonyms
However
, dedicating some Linking Words
time
to study Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
subjects
is vital too. I believe that Use synonyms
students
should Use synonyms
enroll
in other excess classes to foster their skills.Change the spelling
enrol
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your ideas follow logically from one to the next, and consider adding more connecting phrases or transitions to guide the reader smoothly between them, especially between paragraphs discussing opposing views.
introduction conclusion
Provide a stronger conclusion that not only summarizes your points but also clearly states your opinion with perhaps a suggestion or a final thought on the topic.
supported main points
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports the main thesis with sufficient details and examples. Expand on your personal example to show precisely how managing both academic and extracurricular activities can be balanced.
complete response
You provided a balanced discussion of both views which shows a thorough understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
Your use of personal examples effectively illustrates your points, demonstrating a relevant and specific application of ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay is well-structured with clear introductory and concluding paragraphs, enhancing its overall comprehensiveness.