IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter, - introduce yourself - explain what experience and special skills you have - explain why you are interested in the job

#advertisement #english #newspaper #job #city #museum #shop #holidays #director #skills
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Hi Director, I'
m
 writing
this
 email regarding about job advertisement posted in an English Newspaper. My name is Dhivya and
Im
Correct your spelling
I'm
 an international student. I'
m
 residing in Kitchener, Ontario. Currently, I'
m
in
Change preposition
on
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 summer break and
active
Change the word
actively
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 looking for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 job. I came across your job post in the newspaper which
allign
Correct your spelling
align
 with skills and experience. I'
m
 an
artists
Correct the article-noun agreement
artist
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 and
having
Wrong verb form
have
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 more than two years of experience
in
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as
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customer
Correct article usage
a customer
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 representative. I'
m
 very passionate about history and arts and
expertise
Add a missing verb
have expertise
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 in communication and interpersonal skills.
Its
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It's
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wonderful
Correct article usage
a wonderful
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opporuntunity
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opportunity
 for me to gain more knowledge about history
while
 working in the museum shop. I have attached my resume for your reference. Kindly check it and looking forward
for
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to
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 positive response. Thank you for your time and consideration, Regards Dhivya Ravi
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea for better structure.
task achievement
Try to adopt a more formal tone, as this is a professional application letter.
task achievement
Good effort in addressing all parts of the task, including introduction, experience, and interest.
coherence cohesion
The letter contains a clear opening and closing, which helps in creating a neat structure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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