IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity
The given bar chart, which depicts in great detail, illustrates the number of
men
 and women in six
age
groups
 who exercised in Australia in 2010. The unit is based on percentage.
Overall
, it is clearly observable that in all
age
groups
 how many
females
Change preposition
of females
show examples
 that did physical activity
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 more than the number of
males
, except
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
group
 15 to 24. To commence with, the percentage of Australian
males
 and females that did regular physical activity were as follow: in
age
group
 25 to 34;
males
(42.2%)-females(48.9%), in
age
groups
 35 to 44;
men
(39.5%)-women(52.5%), in
age
group
 45 to 54;
males
(43.1%)-females(53.3%), in
age
group
 55 to 64;
men
(45.1%)- women(53%)
as well as
 in
age
group
 65 and over;
males
(46.7%)-females(47.1%).
Thus
, the number of women
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 more than how many
men
in
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
did physical activity. On the flip side, unlike other
age
groups
 in
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
group
 15 to 24 the amount of
males
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 more than the proportion of females
Submitted by amirghhhhhh1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words men, age, groups, males, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!