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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Directors large organisations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people think it is necessary, but others believe that it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#directors #organisations #salaries #employees #people
Executive
 leaders in big companies should get bigger salaries than new
employees
. Some people believe it is fair
while
 the other think it is unfair. I will discuss both views and give my own opinion.
Firstly
,
directors
 hold significant responsibilities as they impact the entire
company
, including decision-making, strategic planning, and risk management, which should get higher salaries than other positions,
such
 as operational
leader
, technical
leader
 and staff.
Additionally
, a big salary leads to competencies and skills.
Directors
 usually need high competence,
such
 as critical thinking, decision making and long-term experience, so I firmly agree that the
company
 should earn much bigger for the high competence needed.
Moreover
,
directors
 had longer working hours and the risk of
high-stress
Correct your spelling
high stress
show examples
 levels.
For instance
, we often find that
directors
 have to think of strategies for the
company
 even at night, to ensure the
company
 continuously earns profit.
On the other hand
,
although
 some people may argue that
directors
 in a large
company
 should earn higher salaries than ordinary
employees
,
in contrast
, some people think that it is not fair because sometimes ordinary
employees
also
 get high responsibility
while
 their wages are low.
In addition
, there is a salary gap
that is
 too large between
executive
 leaders and new staff in a few companies.
This
 issue
then
 leads to growing concerns about fairness and employee satisfaction.
Overall
, I firmly agree that
executive
leader
 ough earn a big fee based on their responsibilities and the impact on the
company
. On the other side, the
executive
leader
also
 needs to support fair pay for all
employees
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, aim to provide more specific examples to support your points. This could include data, anecdotes, or case studies.
task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are fully answered. For instance, consider expanding on why some people find higher salaries for directors unfair. Are there specific industries or examples that illustrate these points?
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. This will enhance the essay's flow and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader understand your viewpoint effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is essential for a well-rounded discussion in your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • organizational hierarchy
  • strategic planning
  • risk management
  • salary disparity
  • executive compensation
  • income inequality
  • employee morale
  • corporate governance
  • fiscal responsibility
  • salary redistribution
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