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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart show the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart show the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.
#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #pet #house #second #show #amount #time #gender
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The charts depict a comparison of
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in various house chores and the
time
Use synonyms
 they take to do each task in a country.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there is a 20% difference in preparing meals and cleaning between
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 with 80 to 60% and 60 to 40% respectively. Most
men
Use synonyms
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
 fixing the house with close to 20% as compared to
women
Use synonyms
 with only about 5%. Both
sex
Fix the agreement mistake
sexes
show examples
 care for their pets equally, close to 20%. In the next chart,
women
Use synonyms
 spend almost
90minutes
Correct your spelling
90 minutes
to cook
Change the verb form
cooking
show examples
 as compared to
men
Use synonyms
 who take only
60minutes
Correct your spelling
60 minutes
 to do so.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 spend
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
time
Use synonyms
to clean
Change the verb form
cleaning
show examples
 than
men
Use synonyms
 about
70minutes
Correct your spelling
70 minutes
. Both care for their pet almost the same
time
Use synonyms
 about
20minutes
Correct your spelling
20 minutes
. In summary, there is a clear relation between the percentage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house chores and
Use synonyms
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 both spend
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. The
more
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
, the longer the
time
Use synonyms
 they spend
to perform
Change the verb form
performing
show examples
.
Submitted by Nezzy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender roles
  • Work-life balance
  • Division of labor
  • Domestic tasks
  • Stereotypes
  • Traditional roles
  • Participation rate
  • Disparity
  • Societal expectations
  • Productivity
  • Cultural norms
  • Economic implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Household chores
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