The charts below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008. Write at least 150 words.

The charts below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008.

Write at least 150 words.
The pie charts depict the proportion of
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
between the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
23
Change preposition
of 23
show examples
to 65 based on various jobs in
Ashby
and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom in 2008.
Overall
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of
people
in
Ashby
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
personal service which is 21% as compared to the general population in the UK, 17%.
However
, more
people
in the UK generally are professionals and in technical as compared to
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
of
Ashby
, 14% to 8% and 17% to 9% respectively.
On the other hand
, more
people
in
Ashby
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
in construction 16%
in contrast
to 10% of the general population. Almost
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
percentage of
people
in both work in the office. In summary,
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
show examples
rate is still a worrying issue,
14
Change preposition
with 14
show examples
% in
Ashby
and 10% in general.
Submitted by Nezzy on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ashby, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • occupational distribution
  • employment structure
  • percentages
  • overrepresented
  • underrepresented
  • demographic factors
  • educational background
  • economic implications
  • national average
  • regional variation
  • workforce composition
  • sectoral employment
  • job market dynamics
  • statistical comparison
  • trend analysis
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