IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008.

The charts below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008.
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The pie charts depict the proportion of
residence
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residents
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 between the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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23
Change preposition
of 23
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 to 65 based on various jobs in
Ashby
Use synonyms
 and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 Kingdom in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Ashby
Use synonyms
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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 personal service which is 21% as compared to the general population in the UK, 17%.
However
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
 in the UK generally are professionals and in technical as compared to
residence
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residents
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 of
Ashby
Use synonyms
, 14% to 8% and 17% to 9% respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
 in
Ashby
Use synonyms
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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 in construction 16%
in contrast
Linking Words
 to 10% of the general population. Almost
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 in both work in the office. In summary,
unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
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 rate is still a worrying issue,
14
Change preposition
with 14
show examples
% in
Ashby
Use synonyms
 and 10% in general.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ashby, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • occupational distribution
  • employment structure
  • percentages
  • overrepresented
  • underrepresented
  • demographic factors
  • educational background
  • economic implications
  • national average
  • regional variation
  • workforce composition
  • sectoral employment
  • job market dynamics
  • statistical comparison
  • trend analysis
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