Some people think that the government should invest more money in teaching science than other subjects for the progress of the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technology is advancing rapidly these days. Many people believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should focus
and
Change preposition
on and
show examples
provide more learning opportunities in
this
field as compared to others for the betterment of
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
.
This
essay will argue that allocating more funds for
science
and technology is beneficial in many ways towards
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
growth.
However
, focus should
also
be given to other degrees as well.
Science
and technology
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
emerging these days.
Sufficient
Correct article usage
A sufficient
show examples
amount of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
budget should be kept aside for
such
subjects
to train teachers and mentors so that they can have access to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
skills.
For example
,
science
and AI these
subjects
should be taught mandatory to every student after completing their primary education. Free access to e-learning research resources will help students to gain more
in depth
Add a hyphen
in-depth
show examples
knowledge. These future researchers can be
then
hired and they can assist
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
improvise
Verb problem
improving
show examples
the agriculture system of the
country
.
The technological
Correct article usage
Technological
show examples
innovation plays a vital role in
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
development. The other
subjects
should
also
be given importance.
Subjects
like economics and accounting
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
a very major role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
economic growth chart. These should be included in the curriculum of every student.
For instance
, auditors who have good command over accounts and law can help to maintain a corrupt free system for the state.
To conclude
, I would say that good investment should be
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
science related
Add a hyphen
science-related
show examples
education by
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
which will contribute to its success. And other
subjects
can
also
be considered to maintain the balance.
Submitted by asad.sw on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Ensure you provide specific examples that clearly illustrate your points. For instance, when discussing how science can improve agriculture, a real-world example could strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
While your ideas are generally clear, try to elaborate more on each point to provide a more comprehensive argument. Ensure each paragraph thoroughly addresses an aspect of the question.
logical structure
Consider enhancing the logical flow between your paragraphs by using more linking phrases. This will help guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next, maintaining the cohesiveness of your argument.
complete response
You've provided a complete response, addressing both the importance of science and technology and the necessity of other subjects. This balanced approach effectively fulfills the task requirements.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are strong. They effectively set the stage for your discussion and provide a coherent finish, summarizing your main points.
supported main points
Your main points are logically structured and generally well-supported with explanations linking back to the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological innovations
  • economic growth
  • critical issues
  • balanced education
  • diversity
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • empathy
  • future market demands
  • societal needs
  • digital economy
  • innovation-driven world
  • overemphasis
  • devaluation
  • cultural understanding
  • social cohesion
  • competitive edge
  • renewable energy
  • career prospects
  • public good
  • evidence-based decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: