IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
Public concern has arisen about whether
climate
change
 is still considered
such
 an enormous problem as it has been for the past fifty years, even though the consequences are still sensed in the daily lives of many. I tend to partly disagree with the statement. The primary factor we need to take into consideration is that
climate
change
 drastically affects a bunch of
people
's lives.
Third world
Add a hyphen
Third-world
show examples
 countries
such
 as India, Pakistan and Thailand undergo various consequences of
this
 phenomenon.
Firstly
, because they live near the ocean, floods and tsunamis are inevitable. To be able to abstain from these natural shocks countries would need to build a bunch of dams or provide
people
 with taller residential buildings, as of right now some are still living in hand-made shelters that are sometimes leaking from basic rain. These solutions require a better economy of the country itself and that can not be accomplished in a short period of time and that explains why we need to
change
 something. Compelling arguments can be made that
people
 are more than screwed with the current state of the environmental problems and there is nothing we can do but to put up with it. More precisely, the main problems are a huge contrast of temperatures felt throughout the year and the extinction of nature. Embracing the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 temperature is not feasible unless it varies from freezing cold to boiling hot but
that is
 not the case
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 most countries. By simply buying a fan and having a simple heating system or an electrical heater at least you can easily live through these changes.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the current state of nature needs more consideration.
For example
, Antarctica is losing an immense amount of its icebergs, polar bears and penguins mostly because of
climate
change
 but it is possible to
change
 that.
People
 can build snow generators and provide the animals that are going extinct with food to stop Antarctica from totally vanishing. On the basis of the above discussion, I believe that it is not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mandatory thing to stop trying to prevent
climate
change
. It definitely is and will be a big problem if no actions are taken.
Submitted by oimigle on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to paragraph your essay clearly, ensuring that each paragraph contains a single main idea. This improves readability and coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of your essay are equally developed. Each argument or example should be explored in detail to provide a balanced response.
task achievement
While specific examples have been used, consider drawing on a wider variety of examples or referring to more recent data to strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion present
The essay starts with a clear introduction, giving a strong sense of your opinion early on.
complete response
You have presented a balanced argument by discussing viewpoints for both preventing and adapting to climate change.
logical structure
Good attempt to link ideas between paragraphs, which aids the flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!