IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

This
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 essay will discuss the idea of what
people
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 are supposed to do regarding
climate
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change
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, some are of the
opinion
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 that it is important to take
actions
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action
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 to prevent it,
while
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 others believe that it is inevitable and
people
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 should accept it as
part
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 of
life
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. I agree with the first
opinion
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 that
people
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 should take
action
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 to prevent it. Taking
action
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 to prevent it is a more popular approach in today's society. It is believed that humans
caused
Verb problem
play
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 a huge
part
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 in
climate
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 warming and are responsible
to deal
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for dealing
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 with the consequences. Not taking any
action
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 to address
climate
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change
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 will lead to endangerment of many ecosystems.
For example
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, the sea cows are almost extinct
due to
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 extreme hunting and warming waters in the seas.
Climate
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change
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also
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 poses a threat to humans, increased temperature leads to a rise in sea levels, which results in floods,
on
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in
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people
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’s homes, it is estimated that if the temperature will not stop rising there is a risk
to lose
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of losing
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 up to 30
percent
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per cent
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 of fertile land, that would cause food insecurity in many parts of the world. So the result of ignoring
climate
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change
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 might be vital. It is important that both individuals and the government take
actions
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action
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 to minimise the impact of
climate
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change
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 and to stop its progression.
However
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, there is the
opinion
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 that
people
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 should accept
climate
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change
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 as is. The
opinion
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 that
people
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 do not need to take any
action
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 towards stopping
climate
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change
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 stems from the idea that
climate
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change
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 is natural and cyclical.
Earth
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 is designed to regulate itself and rises in temperature
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a
part
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 of it. Human
life
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 is so short compared to
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earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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 years so there is so much we can do as humanity to make a
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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 impact on
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earth's
Capitalize word
Earth's
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climate
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, so understanding it as
part
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 of
life
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 is a way of living a peaceful
life
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. There is scientific evidence that the
earth
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 has gone through a phase of warming before and some scientists believe that what is happening now is almost identical to what happened
millions
Add the preposition
millions of
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 years ago. In conclusion, I believe the best approach to
climate
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change
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 is to take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 to prevent it and to decrease its impact on human
life
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 as much as possible, but I have to
also
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 agree that it is impossible to completely stop the
change
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 in
climate
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 as it is
part
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 of a natural
earth
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 cycle and we have
learn
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learned
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 to live with it
while
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 taking accountability for what we can.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has one main idea and that it is clearly expressed. Additionally, consider using clearer topic sentences to guide the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
While you provide good arguments, aim to include more specific examples or data to strengthen your points further and demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the main topic and indicates your stance on the issue, which is a great start.
Coherence and Cohesion
You made effective use of linking words to connect ideas, which helped maintain a flow in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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