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Band 5.5

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#retirement #age #males #females #six #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided table graph illustrates the
age
 limit in six countries when
men
 and
women
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
retirement
 from work in 2003, where the nations are Australia,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
states
Capitalize word
States
show examples
, Japan, Italy, France and Korea.
To begin
 with, Korea had the highest
retirement
age
 in 2003 both in
men
 and
women
 cases, where the
retirement
age
 for
men
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 68 and 8
months
 and for
women
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 67 and 2
months
. Moving forward, Japan and Italy were
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 second number in both categories. The number for
men
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 67 and 4
months
 and for
women
 were 66 and 9
months
 in both countries. Continue it,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States was in third position and Australia was in fourth number. Where the
age
 group for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 were 65 and 6
months
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 were 64 and 2
months
 in
former
Add an article
the former
show examples
 country
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
64
Add a missing verb
were 64
show examples
 and 1 month and
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
63
Add a missing verb
were 63
show examples
 and 5
months
 in the latter country.
On the contrary
, the
retirement
age
 was 57 and 4
months
 in
men
 and 56 and 9
months
 in France.
Overall
, it can be seen easily every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
retirement
age
 except Japan and Italy.
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men, women, retirement, months with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • gender disparity
  • average
  • countries
  • comparisons
  • illustrates
  • features
  • trends
  • outliers
  • noteworthy
  • notable differences
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • legal factors
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