Some people think that the main purposes of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education and educational institutes
are
pivotal Verb problem
play
role
in Change the noun form
roles
lives
of children. Correct article usage
the lives
Such they
ensure children get quality Correct word choice
They
of
studies to support their future. Change preposition
apply
However
, people are debating over purpose
of education, whether these schools are helping Correct article usage
the purpose
Add an article
the pupil
pupil
to be good working residents of the Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
country
or support to mold
them to be Change the spelling
mould
a
better Correct article usage
apply
personality
of themselves. Hereby, I believe that Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
eduaction
is actually in form to shape students to be Correct your spelling
education
the
better countrymen. I will discuss Correct article usage
apply
reasons
for my agreement Correct article usage
the reasons
with
Change preposition
in
following
discussion.
First of all, academies are formed in a way that whatever is taught in classes, directly or indirectly inspires the learner to be loyal and supportive Change the article
the following
to
the Change preposition
of
country
, they are living in. Plus pupil are
being fed with information Change the verb form
is
of
growing Change preposition
about
industires
in a particular region and how they can serve the Correct your spelling
industries
country
to their best. Just to make them more motivated they are being educated about benefits
of being a good worker. Correct article usage
the benefits
For example
, there are no two countries in the world with a
same educational system because they are made Correct article usage
the
according to
requirements
of the nation. Correct article usage
the requirements
Hence
, it is not wrong to say that actual
motive of schools is to make them good Correct article usage
the actual
labourer
.
Fix the agreement mistake
labourers
Whereas
, there are some debators
who disagree with Correct your spelling
debtors
this
and say that schooling is truely
helping youngsters to have unique individuality but it should be taken into consideration that Correct your spelling
truly
this
thing also
prove
to be some kind of advantage to the nation, believe it or not. Change the verb form
proves
For instance
, if learners get
excellent communication skills, leadership qualities and all other abilities to get a job in Verb problem
have
homeland
, still they are being Correct article usage
a homeland
asset
to that land. Add an article
an asset
Thus
, saying studies are forming the future labourers is accurate.
Lastly
, whatever is case
, Add an article
the case
anykind
of information and learning given to scholars is actually an investment for the upcoming time for Correct your spelling
any kind
country
itself. If Add an article
the country
this
was not the case not so many of
countries might Change preposition
apply
not
be interested in Rephrase
apply
free
Correct article usage
a free
eduction
system.Correct your spelling
education
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task response
To achieve higher task response scores, try to maintain a balanced argument. Consider giving equal weight to both views in the question and argue each point convincingly before concluding with your position.
task response
Work on providing more relevant examples to support your arguments. This could strengthen your task achievement score. Personal anecdotes or specific studies/workplace examples can add depth to your essay.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, there's room to develop the logical structure of argument between paragraphs further. Ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly will improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
To promote greater cohesion, use more transition words or phrases. This will help link ideas more effectively throughout your essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, both contributing positively to the structure.
task achievement
The essay addresses the main topic and presents your viewpoint clearly at the beginning, which is great for task response.
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