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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average retirement age of males and females in six countries in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table illustrates the mean
retirement
Use synonyms
age
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 of
males
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 and
females
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, which were available in 6
countries
Use synonyms
 (Australia, United States, Japan, Italy,
France
Use synonyms
, and Korea) in the year 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, Korean job holders get
retirement
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 later,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
France
Use synonyms
 it was earlier than the other
countries
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
women
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's quit from job
age
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 was on average 1 year lower in all
countries
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. The highest
retirement
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age
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 was in Korea at 68
years
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 and 8
months
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 for men,
whereas
Linking Words
 for
women
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 it was 67
years
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 and 2
months
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. The lowest
retirement
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age
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 could be seen in
France
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 at 57
years
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 and 4
months
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 for
males
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, for
women
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 it was less than 3
months
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 from 57
years
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.
France
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's
retirement
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age
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 was almost 10
years
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 faster than the other 5
countries
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. In Australia,
women
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 retired at the
age
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 of 63
years
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 and 5
months
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,
however
Linking Words
, for
males
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 it was just above 64
years
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. Japan and Italy shared the same
age
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retirement
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 time for both
males
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 and
females
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, which was 67
years
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 and 4
months
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 for
males
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, and 66
years
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 and 9
months
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 for
females
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. For the USA, it was in the middle position among all
countries
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, where it was 64
years
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 and 2
months
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 for
females
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, and 65
years
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 and half a year for
males
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words retirement, age, males, females, countries, france, women, years, months with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • gender disparity
  • average
  • countries
  • comparisons
  • illustrates
  • features
  • trends
  • outliers
  • noteworthy
  • notable differences
  • economic factors
  • social factors
  • legal factors
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