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The first bar graph shows what percentage of four different groups completed a certain psychological task.The second pie chart shows what percentge of all the people who completed the task and finished it in less than one hour came from which group.

The first bar graph shows what percentage of four different groups completed a certain psychological task.The second pie chart shows what percentge of all the people who completed the task and finished it in less than one hour came from which group.
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There are two figures that display the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of each student
group
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,the bar
chart
Use synonyms
 illustrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of students in four different groups who completed the psychological work and the pie
chart
Use synonyms
 presents the proportion of students in each
group
Use synonyms
 that are able to complete it within an hour.
Overall
Linking Words
,it can be seen that the Foxes
group
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in both charts.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar
chart
Use synonyms
,
People
Use synonyms
 in the Brewers
group
Use synonyms
 finished the task the most,which was over three-quarters.Followed by Truffles and Hawks
group
Use synonyms
 with figures of 60% and 50% respectively.
While
Linking Words
Foxes
Correct article usage
the Foxes
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
,which was responsible for under 20%. Moving on to the pie
chart
Use synonyms
,Nearly half of
students
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
 successfully accomplished the task in less than an hour came from the Truffles
group
Use synonyms
 ,resulting in it having the highest proportion of
people
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 Brewers and Hawks had nearly the same proportion,occupying 23% and 20% respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
,only a small minority of
people
Use synonyms
 came from the Foxes
group
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, group, chart, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar graph
  • Pie chart
  • Percentage
  • Completed the task
  • Task completion
  • Groups
  • Comparative analysis
  • Trends
  • Significant differences
  • Contributing factors
  • Time efficiency
  • Correlation
  • Disparity
  • Visual data representation
  • Patterns
  • Insights
  • Summarize
  • Group efficiency
  • Performance analysis
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