The table below shows the results of an airline survey in 2002 of economy class business travelers.The number indictes how many male of female passengers in each age group rated a particular feature as their most important in-flight consideration.
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The table illustrates the number of people in different age
groups
who are above or below 45 years old and also
are categorized into male or female value in-flight features
as their top priority concern.
Overall
,it can be seen that the majority of people regardless of gender or age rate seat
/legroom
as their most important except the younger female group
votes for attendant/service.
To begin
with,three out of four features
which are seat
/legroom
,meals/drinks and attendant/service have nearly equal selection from all groups
.That is
to say,the younger female group
selects attendant/service the most which just over a third.Followed closely by seat
/legroom
and meals/drinks accounting for 30% and 26% respectively.Also
,the older female group
chooses both of these three features
at approximately over 30% each.The male groups
value seat
/legroom
more than female groups
which are just under 40% in the younger group
and nearly half in the older group
.The other features
these male passengers rate nearly a fourth in both groups
.
However
,movies/In-flight entertainment has a minority of passengers choose.The younger ones regardless of gender tend to prefer more which is 10% in females and 10% in males.Lastly
,the older group
has the least consideration occupying 4% each.Submitted by chawanat.pla on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words groups, features, seat, legroom, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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