In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the advantages of video surveillance outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days, the
numbeer
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number
of
video
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cameras
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public areas
climeb
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climb
for
inahbitants'
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inhabitants'
safety;
in contrast
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, the communities think that it is important that
this
Linking Words
happening has a
ne gative
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negative
show examples
effect on
people
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's independence.
while
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
video
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cheking
Correct your spelling
checking
have
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has
show examples
several benefits, I still believe that can overshadow drawbacks. On the one hand, the merits of
video
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surveillance so varied. On the one side, the number of
crime
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crimes
show examples
that lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
decline
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declines
show examples
if the police surveillant them.
For example
Linking Words
, the figure of
thiefs
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thieves
show examples
, robbers, and so
one
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on
show examples
fall owing to the
fatc
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fact
that police can find the
people
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who
commite
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commit
commute
crime
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crimes
show examples
raelly fats
Rephrase
regularly
show examples
. On the other side, the number of
people
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who
attac
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attacked
the other citizens reduced inasmuch as they
know
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knew
show examples
the governments
are
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were
show examples
able to see every
evidence
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piece of evidence
show examples
.
On the other hand
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,
video
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surveillance has a range of demerits.
Firstly
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, when the
cameras
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record all factors, the
people
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who have
a
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apply
show examples
access to these
cameras
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can know about the
communities
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community's
communities'
show examples
lifestyles.; in fact,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not have
privecy
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privacy
.
Secondly
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, the cost of fixing and buying
cameras
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
really high;
additionally
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, they are not
the
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apply
show examples
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
facilities;
as a result
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, it is crucial that authorities invest
this
Linking Words
money
on
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in
show examples
the elements that have
positive
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a positive
show examples
influence on both crime
reducing
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reduction
show examples
and equipment that help citizens to have
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
lives.
To conclude
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, In my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
the bad points of
video
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surveillance can eclipse the good points on account of the fact that the
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
inhabitante
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
inhabitant
privet lives and the
cities
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city's
show examples
facilities are more essential.
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task achievement
Be sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes such as 'numbeer,' 'climeb,' and 'raelly.' These small errors can make it difficult for readers to fully understand your main points.
task achievement
Try to develop your ideas further to ensure they are clear and fully realized. Some parts of your essay could benefit from additional examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring logical progression in your argument. Each paragraph should link clearly to the next to guide the reader smoothly through your points.
task achievement
Support your points with more specific examples or evidence to enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure and framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
You've addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of video surveillance, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • video surveillance
  • crime deterrent
  • law enforcement
  • privacy infringement
  • public safety
  • evidence
  • surveillance abuse
  • secure environment
  • citizen oversight
  • data misuse
  • budget constraints
  • false sense of security
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