In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the advantages of video surveillance outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #surveillance

These days, the

numbeer

Correct your spelling

number

video

cameras

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public areas

climeb

Correct your spelling

climb

for

inahbitants'

Correct your spelling

inhabitants'

safety;

in contrast

, the communities think that it is important that

this

happening has a

ne gative

Correct your spelling

negative

show examples

effect on

people

's independence.

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

video

cheking

Correct your spelling

checking

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

several benefits, I still believe that can overshadow drawbacks. On the one hand, the merits of

video

surveillance so varied. On the one side, the number of

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

that lose

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

saftey

Correct your spelling

safety

decline

Fix the agreement mistake

declines

show examples

if the police surveillant them.

For example

, the figure of

thiefs

Correct your spelling

thieves

show examples

, robbers, and so

one

Correct your spelling

show examples

fall owing to the

fatc

Correct your spelling

fact

that police can find the

people

who

commite

Correct your spelling

commit

commute

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

raelly fats

Rephrase

regularly

show examples

. On the other side, the number of

people

who

attac

Correct your spelling

attacked

the other citizens reduced inasmuch as they

know

Wrong verb form

knew

show examples

the governments

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

able to see every

evidence

Correct quantifier usage

piece of evidence

show examples

On the other hand

video

surveillance has a range of demerits.

Firstly

, when the

cameras

record all factors, the

people

who have

Remove the article

apply

show examples

access to these

cameras

can know about the

communities

Change noun form

community's

communities'

show examples

lifestyles.; in fact,

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

does

show examples

not have

privecy

Correct your spelling

privacy

Secondly

, the cost of fixing and buying

cameras

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

really high;

additionally

, they are not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

facilities;

as a result

, it is crucial that authorities invest

this

money

Change preposition

show examples

the elements that have

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

influence on both crime

reducing

Replace the word

reduction

show examples

and equipment that help citizens to have

confortable

Correct your spelling

comfortable

lives.

To conclude

, In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

the bad points of

video

surveillance can eclipse the good points on account of the fact that the

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

inhabitante

Correct your spelling

inhabitants

inhabitant

privet lives and the

cities

Change noun form

city's

show examples

facilities are more essential.

Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on Fri Nov 08 2024

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task achievement

Be sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammar mistakes such as 'numbeer,' 'climeb,' and 'raelly.' These small errors can make it difficult for readers to fully understand your main points.

task achievement

Try to develop your ideas further to ensure they are clear and fully realized. Some parts of your essay could benefit from additional examples or explanations.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence by ensuring logical progression in your argument. Each paragraph should link clearly to the next to guide the reader smoothly through your points.

task achievement

Support your points with more specific examples or evidence to enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, providing a clear structure and framing your argument effectively.

task achievement

You've addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of video surveillance, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

video surveillance
crime deterrent
law enforcement
privacy infringement
public safety
evidence
surveillance abuse
secure environment
citizen oversight
data misuse
budget constraints
false sense of security

What to do next:

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In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the advantages of video surveillance outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays more are more people are deciding to have a baby in later life. What are the reasons? And how to solve this problem?

some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.