The two diagrams below show the information about teenagers learning musical instruments in one region of the UK. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant?

The two diagrams below show the information about teenagers learning musical instruments in one region of the UK. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant?
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The two diagrams below show the information about teenagers learning musical instruments in one region of the UK. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant?
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The graphs provide data on the number of juveniles who took music classes and their preferences for musical instruments from 1996 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that there was an upward trend regarding learning a musical instrument over the period given.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the preference for the keyboard and an electric
guitar
Use synonyms
experienced an increase,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
figure witnessed a decrease for the violin, a piano, and an acoustic
guitar
Use synonyms
. Looking in more detail, the percentage of children who learned musical tools accounted for 44% in 1996 and the other part of them did not have a tendency to take music classes.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
pattern increased dramatically by 76%,
while
Linking Words
the proportion of youngsters who did not learn other instruments comprised a quarter of the total number of children. Regarding the choice of musical instruments, 30 students chose the piano in 1996, making it a bigger one as opposed to the other tools,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
figure was followed by a slight drop in 2016.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the number of students was about 20, and it experienced a significant increase to 30 by 2016.
In addition
Linking Words
, the choice of a violin, an acoustic
guitar
Use synonyms
, and others decreased by 2016, though
this
Linking Words
pattern rose for an electric
guitar
Use synonyms
, more than 1 instrument throughout the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words guitar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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