The two diagrams below show the information about teenagers learning musical instruments in one region of the UK. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant?

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The two diagrams below show the information about teenagers learning musical instruments in one region of the UK. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant?

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The graphs provide data on the number of juveniles who took music classes and their preferences for musical instruments from 1996 to 2016.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that there was an upward trend regarding learning a musical instrument over the period given.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the preference for the keyboard and an electric

guitar

Use synonyms

experienced an increase,

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

figure witnessed a decrease for the violin, a piano, and an acoustic

guitar

Use synonyms

. Looking in more detail, the percentage of children who learned musical tools accounted for 44% in 1996 and the other part of them did not have a tendency to take music classes.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

pattern increased dramatically by 76%,

while

Linking Words

the proportion of youngsters who did not learn other instruments comprised a quarter of the total number of children. Regarding the choice of musical instruments, 30 students chose the piano in 1996, making it a bigger one as opposed to the other tools,

while

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

figure was followed by a slight drop in 2016.

By contrast

Linking Words

, the number of students was about 20, and it experienced a significant increase to 30 by 2016.

In addition

Linking Words

, the choice of a violin, an acoustic

guitar

Use synonyms

, and others decreased by 2016, though

this

Linking Words

pattern rose for an electric

guitar

Use synonyms

, more than 1 instrument throughout the period.

ilkin.abdullaev04Sat Nov 09 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words guitar with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

213 words

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The two diagrams below show the information about teenagers learning musical instruments in one region of the UK. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Teenagers face a lot of difficulties at home and at school. What are the causes for this? How can parents provide solutions?

Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More and more people and organizations are using digital technology for contact with other people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using digital technology for communication?